The Kiss
by hipotamus
Summary: Lily and James are destined to be together. Everyone knows that. But a series of miscommunications and an awful lot of bad luck stand between them. Their final year together as Head Boy and Head Girl draws them closer together as they work to discover who is terrorising the students at the school. But will it be enough? Lily/James. Rating may change. Please R/R!
1. Chapter 1

AN: So I have had this story buzzing around in my head for years and finally it is written! I really hope you enjoy! And reviews help me to upload faster ;) First chapter may seem a little slow, sorry! And I promise this will be a LJ story, but what's a great story without a few complications?!

Disclaimer: JKRowling owns it all, I just play with it once in a while...

 **Chapter 1**

Lily tapped her foot impatiently as she watched the mourners speak to one another in hushed gloomy voices. Her parents' small living room was bursting at the seams with dark-clad guests, drinks clutched in hands, cramming egg sandwiches into their mouths. Lily sighed and checked her watch wondering how much longer her mother would make her stay. The irony of it all was that no one had even _liked_ her great aunt, yet here they all were now, taking advantage of her funeral to gossip with friends and family, making snide comments about cousin Elspeth's divorce and Uncle Hugo's ridiculous new toupee. And to top it all off, Petunia had spent the day pointedly ignoring her, leaving Lily to socialise with these hideous people all by herself.

As a waitress passed Lily grabbed a flute of champagne from a floating tray and, glancing quickly to check her mother's attention was elsewhere, she downed it in one. Lily didn't normally drink alcohol, but she felt today's events warranted it. And besides, she'd been 17 for nearly 6 months now, and was of age in the Wizarding World.

Lily wished she could talk to her two best friends but Felicity was enjoying a family holiday in Australia and Sarah was spending the summer at a Wizarding Summer Camp in Connecticut. So instead, Lily was forced to suffer an entire summer alone at her parents' house, trying to ignore the fact that Petunia was refusing to speak to her and she was bored out of her mind. And this funeral was the icing on the cake. Lily checked her watch – it was nearly 6 o'clock. Enough was enough. She had already suffered through five hours and now she was going to disappear up to her bedroom.

Making a split second decision, Lily swiped a bottle of vodka from her mother's nearby drinks cabinet and raced for the stairs, smiling benignly at relatives who appeared to want to stop and chat. Once she had reached the sanctity of her bedroom, she slumped back against the closed bedroom door and exhaled a deep sigh of relief. But now what? She didn't want to sit alone in her room and drink an entire bottle of vodka. Lily may have felt the need to do something reckless and out of character, but that was a bit _too_ extreme for her.

She kicked off her shoes and pulled off her black dress, throwing it into a pile on the floor and found a denim skirt and plain black t-shirt. Quickly pulling her hair up into a messy pony tail she considered her reflection in her bedroom mirror. Her face was pinched and pale, her makeup smudged.

"Should I?" she murmured to herself but she knew that she wanted company tonight and there was no one else around. Plunging her feet into her sneakers, she grabbed her purse and the bottle of vodka and swung out of the bedroom window and onto an awaiting tree branch. A few quick practiced moves and she was on the ground, dashing for the gate at the bottom of the garden and out onto the country path beyond.

Her feet pounding on the lane, Lily's heart raced with excitement and trepidation as she felt truly free for the first time all summer. The chimneys of Spinners End loomed in front of her and she only slowed once she had reached the row of old dilapidated houses.

"Number 8," she murmured quietly to herself as she squinted at the dingy front doors, locating the one that belonged to her ex-best friend. There it was – completely unchanged in the past 2 years since she had visited. Taking a deep breath, Lily let herself up the front path, noticing the yellow weeds growing between the paving stones.

A lady with sallow skin and dark stringy hair opened the door and leered at her with yellowing teeth. Her eyes couldn't quite focus on Lily's face.

"Is Severus home?" Lily asked, hoping her voice exuded more confidence than she felt.

Moments later, a scrawny teenager appeared at the door. His expression was shocked and Lily couldn't blame him. She'd refused to speak to Severus since that awful occasion over a year ago and she would be the last person he'd expect to come calling.

Before he could open his mouth to ask what she was doing there, Lily blurted, "My Great Aunty Edith died."

Snape furrowed his brow in confusion. "I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"It's fine, she wasn't very nice."

"Right."

An awkward silence ensued until Lily held up the bottle of vodka. "Fancy a drink?"

It took a moment for Severus to react, but eventually he inclined his head and held the door open for her to come in, a small smile playing on the edge of his lips.

ooo

"To Remus," James announced, holding his glass high in the air. "The last of us to reach 17 and come of age. May you enjoy your newfound freedom from the Trace and enjoy yet another year of mischief making."

"Hear hear!" bellowed Severus, clinking his glass against James' and hastily downing the contents. "Although if my predictions are accurate, Headboy Remus Lupin will be too responsible to get involved with the silly antics of the Marauders this year."

Remus shook his head, colour flooding his cheeks. "The Hogwarts letters haven't been sent out yet. I doubt I'll be appointed Headboy with my furry little problem. Think how embarrassing it would be for the school if I ate someone."

"Here's to not eating anyone this year," Sirius laughed holding up his fresh glass as James joined him in the toast.

"Anyway," Remus continued, "my grades aren't good enough to be Headboy. I've missed too many classes. I'm sure Dumbledore will choose someone more academic - Robert Goldstein in Ravenclaw would be a good Headboy."

James rolled his eyes and leaned back against the cushion on his bed. The three boys were in James' bedroom, lounging on pillows and celebrating Remus' birthday. Peter Pettigrew was noticeably missing from the group, claiming his mother's ill health as an excuse not to attend. James' brow furrowed as he momentarily worried about his absent friend, but his worries didn't last long as Sirius teased Remus about his new haircut.

"Shall we go out?" James asked, noticing that the majority of the bottle of firewhisky was gone. That was strange, as he'd only had 2 glasses. It was easy to giess who had drunk the rest – Sirius' laugh was getting louder and his eyes were looking heavier. "I think if we don't go and celebrate now, Sirius is going to be snoring soon."

Sirius jumped to his feet, surprisingly steady after his many drinks. "Let's go to the Arctic Trolls in the city. Remus can apparate with me as he hasn't got his licence yet."

ooo

"What are we doing here Lily?" Severus asked with distaste as he stared at the neon décor of the club, teeming with young witches and wizards bobbing along to the pounding dance music. He practically had to yell to be heard over the noise.

"We're having fun!" she yelled back, as she pulled Severus through the crowd. "Come on, when was the last time you danced?"

"I've never danced!"

Lily laughed and tossed her dark red hair over her shoulder as she shimmied along to the music, moving with the beat and the rhythm of the crowd. Severus couldn't help but watch her – as she so effortlessly moved, her body swaying and rocking, her beautiful face so happy under the dim flickering light of the disco ball. He wanted to touch her, grab hold of her and dance with her, but he knew she wouldn't permit it. And she'd had far too much to drink – the last thing he wanted to do was take advantage of her inebriated state.

"Hey look!" Lily shouted over the crowd, pointing over Severus' shoulder. "It's your favourite people."

Severus spun around, suddenly afraid of who he would see here. Although he may have loved Lily's company, a number of his friends would not have approved. Anger and dread swept through him as he saw three teenage boys, drinks in hand, pushing their way through the crowd. Potter and his cronies. Of course.

Lily beamed and waved at them. It appeared that Lily was an extremely happy drunk, and her pure joy was doing nothing to improve Severus' mood

"Lily!" Sirius yelled as the boys approached. He swung her around in a circle that caused other dancers to jump out of the way. "Let's get a drink!" He led Lily off to the bar without even appearing to notice Severus. James, however, had most certainly noticed Lily's companion and he was not happy about it.

"What the hell are you doing here Snivellus?" James shouted over the pounding music.

Blood pounding in his ears with anger, Severus clenched his hands in tight fists, and turned to walk off of the dance floor. James grabbed his arm and Severus retaliated by shoving him hard. It looked as though James was fully prepared to fight back but Remus grabbed his friend and pulled him off of the dance floor.

 _Great_ , thought Severus sarcastically as he looked around the dark, overcrowded room. Now he'd lost Lily _and_ he'd nearly gotten into a punch up with James. Pulling his wand out of his back pocket, just in case James decided to come after him, Severus wandered through the crowd trying to find his missing friend. Lily wasn't at the bar, or in the queue for the toilets. He couldn't find her anywhere. After circling the room twice, pushing his way through heaving, sweaty bodies, Severus once again ran into James and Remus.

"Where's Lily?" he demanded of them.

James' lip curled and he was clearly about to hurl another insult when Remus interrupted.

"We haven't seen her. She must still be with Sirius, we can't find him either."

Severus gritted his teeth. He didn't want to leave without her but the music was giving him a headache, and someone nearby had vomited - the smell was almost unbearable. Then, as his eyes swept over the crowd one last time, he caught sight of a familiar dark red ponytail. It was Lily, her arms wrapped tightly around Sirius, their lips locked together in a passionate kiss.

Severus' heart froze. The music was drowned by the sound of blood pounding in his ears and the world seemed to slow down and fade. All he could see was Lily, glorious, beautiful, charming Lily, in the arms of that…that _monster_. His heart broke into a million pieces. How could she? How could she do this? Severus had spent so many years worrying that Lily would be stolen away by _Potter_ , he'd never once stopped to consider the possibility that the arrogant prick Black might do it instead.

It was clear that James and Remus had spotted them simultaneously, as James let out a low hiss of anger and Remus squeezed his glass so tightly that it shattered under his fingers. Severus spared only a few seconds to wonder at the reaction of the fair haired boy, before turning his attention back to the embracing couple. He wanted to wade through the crowd and pull them apart, a feeling apparently shared by James who looked murderous.

But a commotion near the door distracted all three boys, and they turned their attention away from Lily and Sirius.

A group of men, dressed in dark robes had entered the club, wands held aloft. People near them were scattering out of the way and shouts of fear could be heard over the pounding music and laughing crowd. Something was very wrong.

James grabbed Remus by the arm. "Remus, they look like trouble."

Remus shot him a scared look and his eyes darted to Severus. "Deatheaters?"

Severus went white and clutched his wand tighter in his hand. His demeanour was not lost on James, who turned on him. "Friends of yours?" he asked, his voice deadly.

The men were approaching, the crowd thinning as they realised what was happening. One of the dark-clad men shot red sparks into the air above the dancefloor and people screamed, now running for the exit.

"Take Lily home!" James shouted at Severus.

Severus hesitated then shook his head. Hating himself more than ever before, he said, "No. I can't."

"What the fuck?" James yelled, shoving him hard. "What do you mean? You need to get her home!"

"No! You take her, now! Get out of here," he turned on his heel, fear and hatred whirling through his brain - he couldn't be seen with her. She was a mudblood.

James watched Severus run from them and he pulled Remus through the crowd. Sirius and Lily had also realised that something was wrong and they were looking around for their friends.

"Remus," ordered James, "take Sirius back to my place. He'll help you apparate as soon as you're outside. But you need to direct him -he's too drunk to get there without you."

Remus nodded and grabbed his friend and together they ran for the door. James didn't waste any time – he took Lily's hand and pulled her along behind him, trying to avoid being crushed by the surging crowd. More loud bangs and sparks of light sounded behind them, but James didn't turn back. He pulled Lily out into the cool night air and supported her as they hurried down the street to a quiet dark alley.

"Where do you live?" James asked, panting hard. "Can you get us there by apparition?"

Lily nodded, "I think so. Oh god, I've had too much to drink."

"It's okay," James said softly, cursing the Deatheaters who had intruded on their night, and trying desperately hard not to think of the betrayal of his best friend. "I'll help you get home. I'll help you apparate but you need to guide me, do you understand?"

Lily nodded as they finally slowed to a walk and James pulled her into a dark doorway.

"Okay, let's go." And with a whirl and a crack, they were gone.

ooo

AN: I hope you enjoyed and please leave me a review! Annie xx


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** Thank you so much to my lovely reviewers, glad you enjoyed the first chapter! There is a lot of dialogue in this chapter, sorry please bear with me :) A bit of Lily/James fluff, but I promise there will be much more in chapters to come. ENjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

The night air was much colder outside Lily's home, and James found himself shivering in his thin t-shirt. Letting Lily lean against him for support he helped her up the front path towards the dark house. Everything seemed quiet, and James hoped her parents were fast asleep. He didn't want to answer awkward questions about Lily's sobriety, or lack thereof.

When they reached the front door, James pulled out his wand and whispered, "Alohamora." There was a soft click and the door creaked open. Lily giggled, "I've never snuck into my own house before."

James shushed her as they made their way across the dark hallway and up the stairs. Lily pushed open the door to her bedroom and flicked on the light. It took James a split second to realise that he was standing in Lily Evans' bedroom. He had always _dreamed_ of being in her room, and his wish had finally come true – although not quite in the way he had planned. Gazing around the room, James tried to memorise every detail. It was a large airy space, filled with solid, white furniture and decorated in pale colours. It was light and happy, and a perfect reflection of Lily who was currently doubled over, tugging at her sneakers.

"Sit down and I'll help you," James said, closing the door behind him so they didn't wake up the rest of the house.

Lily sat on the bed and gazed at him with her large green eyes. It was such an intense stare, he felt he had to look away, and instead focused on untying her laces and tugging her shoes off.

"You're quite beautiful you know," she said quietly. James looked up startled and she grinned. "You have very floppy hair."

Self-consciously James ran a hand across his head, stood up and rubbed his nose. He looked around the room for a change of subject and noticed a white cat sprawled across Lily's double bed, staring at him unblinkingly.

"Who's this?" James asked, holding out his hand so the cat could sniff his fingers. It purred and rolled onto its back, allowing James access to its tummy.

"The Cat," Lily said, scooting up the bed and wriggling under the blankets.

"What's its name?"

Lily gazed up at James, trying to focus on him. "The Cat," she repeated.

James raised his eyebrows. "You named your cat, _The Cat_?" he asked.

Punching her pillow into shape, Lily tried to get comfortable. "Yes, like in _Breakfast at Tiffanys_."

"Who's Tiffany?" James asked, feeling as though all sense had left this conversation some time ago.

"Never mind," Lily replied. "Are you getting in or what?" she held up the blankets for him.

James hesitated. Every fibre of his being wanted to crawl into her warm bed and pull her into his arms. But she was drunk. And she had just kissed his best friend. "I'd better go," he mumbled.

Lily sat up, and The Cat leapt off the bed at the sudden movement. "Please don't," Lily pleaded. "I really don't want to be alone tonight."

James hesitated and took a deep breath. "I should sleep on the floor."

"Don't be stupid, the floorboards get cold. Just hop in James." Her fingers were now working on the button of her denim skirt and before James realised what she was doing, she had wriggled out of it and dropped the garment on the floor.

"Lily!"

"What?" she said, "I'll keep my knickers on."

"Merlin's beard," James mumbled as he crossed the room and crawled in beside her. He took a deep steadying breath and tried to focus his mind on something else. But the heat was radiating off of Lily's body as she burrowed further under the blankets beside him.

"Where did Severus go tonight?" Lily asked sleepily. "He seemed to disappear."

James licked his lips. He _could_ tell Lily the truth – that Snape had abandoned her because of Lily's blood status, but he knew how hurt she would be by this revelation. So instead he lied, "He helped Sirius get home – Sirius was drunk and Remus doesn't have his apparition license yet."

"Oh," Lily replied and yawned. "That makes sense."

Slowly, tentatively, he raised his arm and she immediately tucked herself into his chest, sighing contentedly as her deep breaths slowed and became heavier. James pulled her closer to him and breathed in deeply, smelling the sweet perfume of her hair. Gently, he pressed his lips to the top of her head.

But then the images came flooding back into his head and he could do nothing to stop them. Sirius' hands grabbing Lily, pulling her into him. Lily's fingers tangled in Sirius' dark hair. Lips pressed together. Bodies pulsing to the music.

James closed his eyes and drew a deep ragged breath.

How could they. How could his best friend do this to him? He was ashamed to feel tears burn in his eyes. A little voice in the back of James' head told him he was being unfair. Sirius didn't know the extent of James' feelings for Lily. He couldn't possibly know the damage he had done to his best friend through that stupid drunken kiss.

ooo

The soft cheeping of birds woke James the following morning. Soft sunlight streamed through the chink in the curtains and it took him a moment to get his bearings and work out where he was. Glancing beside him, he saw Lily, her dark red hair fanned out on her pillow, an arm thrown carelessly over her face. She had kicked the blankets off during the night and the thin sheets clung to her body. James blinked and looked away, his heart starting to pound in his chest.

He needed some fresh air to clear his head. And he needed coffee.

Carefully he slipped out of the bed and tugged his shoes on, careful not to wake the beautiful sleeping girl beside him. Before he left the room, he pressed his lips to her forehead and whispered, "I'll be back soon."

James nearly managed to escape the house without detection, but just as he pulled open the front door, someone cleared their throat.

A young tall blonde woman stood glaring at him, arms crossed, tapping her foot impatiently. "And who the hell are you?" she demanded.

James winced. "Hi, I'm James, James Potter." He held out his hand but Petunia ignored it. "You must be Lily's sister, she's told me so much about you."

Petunia simply glared at him.

"Listen I'm just ducking out to get some coffee – your sister had a big night last night and I just helped her home. Honestly, it was all very innocent."

Looking as though she didn't believe a word he said, Petunia clicked her tongue and glared even harder.

"Okay. So, I'll go – any good cafes near here?"

Petunia once again didn't reply.

"Right. Tell Lily I'll be back soon, okay?"

ooo

The sound of the front door closing woke Lily and she sat up with a start. Her head pounded and her mouth was unbearably dry. She felt wretched. Groaning she pulled herself out of bed and looked around. James was nowhere to be seen.

Slowly, the events of last night all came back to her and she groaned again, covering her face with her hands. Had she really kissed Sirius? And what about James? If she remembered rightly, they'd spent the night together and she only had her knickers on! And now he was gone – obviously mortified by the situation she'd put him in.

Beyond embarrassed, Lily chucked on her clothes and sneakers and pulled her hair up into a ponytail. She needed to run. Everyone said the best thing you could do for a hangover was to sweat it out, and that was exactly what Lily intended to do.

"Petunia!" Lily ran into her sister in the hallway, knocking the cup of tea in her sister's hand and splashing it all over the floor. "Oh Tuney, I'm so sorry." Lily pulled her wand out of her pocket and quickly magicked away the spilt tea.

"Lily!" Petunia shrieked. "You're not allowed to do magic around me, you know what mum said."

"I was just helping," Lily argued. "Petunia I'm sorry."

"You are such a _freak_." Petunia was practically shaking with anger. "No wonder that boy left so quickly this morning-"

"You saw James?" Lily interrupted. "What did he say?"

Petunia's lip curled into a cruel sneer. "Not much. But I got the impression that he wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible. He asked me not to tell you that I'd seen him."

The blood drained from Lily's face. So, he'd wanted to get away from her after all. Lily pushed past her sister and ran out of the house. She jogged around the block, trying to clear her head and feeling ridiculous for the tears stinging her eyes. Why did she even care what Potter thought? He was a git. An arrogant, bullying git. She couldn't let him know how much his rejection stung.

Instead she tried to force herself to think of other things as her feet pounded along the pavement. Sirius. How could she face him again after that stupid drunken kiss? It was a commonly known fact at school that Sirius had kissed a lot of girls. And taken things further with many of them. He was an obvious flirt and she was certainly not his type. She would pretend the kiss never happened, and hopefully he wouldn't bring it up.

ooo

James juggled the coffee cups and bag of donuts in his hands as he knocked on the front door of the Evans house. He wasn't sure if Lily would be awake yet, but hoped that the strange and silent sister wouldn't open the door. He was disappointed.

The door opened and there stood Petunia, once again glaring at him. James wondered if her face could make other expressions.

"Hi," he said tentatively. "Um, can I come in?"

"No," Petunia replied rudely. "Lily's gone out. She said she didn't want to see you."

James' heart sank and his shoulders physically drooped. Was she angry at him for taking advantage of the situation last night? Had he done the wrong thing by staying, and sleeping in her bed? Or maybe, she had felt his soft kiss this morning and thought it wildly inappropriate.

"Now go away," snapped Petunia and slammed the door in his face.

ooo

James flung open the door to his bedroom and blinked in the dim light. The heavy velvet curtains were drawn against the bright sunshine outside and the air inside the room smelt stale and old. Peering through the darkness, James could just make out a large lump under his duvet, and it was groaning quietly.

"Oi," James said, flicking his wand so that light sprung to the chandelier overhead and causing the lump in his bed to groan even louder.

"Do you mind!" came Sirius' voice from under the blankets. He threw them back ceremoniously and glared at James. "I have the mother of all hangovers."

James noticed the large glass of orange juice on the bedside table and an empty goblet which contained the unmistakeable traces of his mother's hangover potion. "You seem well looked after," he drawled and collapsed into an awaiting armchair.

"Your mum's an angel," Sirius moaned, rubbing his eyes.

James glowered at him. He was still so angry at his best friend's betrayal – how _could_ Sirius have kissed Lily? It was the highest form of treachery. And now, to have this traitor curled up in his bed, with James' own _mother_ waiting on him hand and foot…

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked, surprised at James' silence.

James clicked his tongue. "My mum isn't a servant you know."

Sirius sat up and stared at his friend in puzzlement. "Of course I know that Prongs. I love your mum like…well, like she was my own mum. I love her _more_ than my own mum if I'm to be honest."

James sighed. He knew that, of course he did. When Sirius had left home and practically moved in with them, James' parents had welcomed him with open arms. Fleamont and Euphemia hadn't ever thought they'd be able to have children, and when James came along they'd been overjoyed. So it followed that 16 years later, when Sirius turned up on their doorstep, they gladly accepted him into their family and treated him like a son. And Sirius _was_ like a brother to James. Which was why his betrayal stung even worse.

Sirius didn't seem to notice that James was still fuming with anger. He stretched out on the luxurious four poster bed and gazed up at the canopy. "Last night, wow, what a night, hey Prongs? Those Deatheaters – I haven't seen anything in the Daily Prophet about them – I bet it's all been covered up. And seeing Snivelly at the club! Now that was a surprise, what happened to him?" His eyes widened and he turned to look at James. "Did he run off with them? Don't tell me Snivellus joined in with the Deatheaters."

James shook his head. "I didn't stick around to watch."

Sirius punched the pillow under his head, getting comfy. "And _Evans_! Did you see her, Prongs? Wasn't she glorious! God, that hair, and bloody hell she can kiss." He shot a sideways look at his friend. "You don't mind do you?"

"Would it make any difference if I did?"

Sirius sat up and frowned at his best friend. "I thought you didn't like her anymore. You haven't even mentioned Evans since…since fifth year, I think."

James shrugged. Lily had made a clear choice last night that she had chosen Sirius. And then this morning, she made it very plain to James that she wanted nothing further to do with him. If Lily and Sirius wanted to be together, he certainly wasn't going to stand in their way. He didn't want to be anyone's second choice.

"I really don't care, Padfoot. You two do whatever you want."

Sirius eyed him curiously. It wasn't like James to brood, but something was clearly upsetting him. "I can stay away from her, if you like. We just kissed, Prongs. It wasn't anything serious."

Standing up suddenly, James made his way over to the door. He'd had enough of Sirius and this entire conversation. "I honestly don't care Padfoot. Anyway, she told me she likes you, so you should go for it," James lied. He wasn't entirely sure why he said it but felt a thrill of anger and resentment at the words. If they wanted to be together then fine. He stormed out of the room and closed the door with a bang.

* * *

AN: I really hope you enjoyed. Off to Hogwarts next chapter and of course Lily and James are thrown together as Head Boy and Head Girl - what could possibly go wrong?! ;) Please please please leave a review - I update so much faster with reviews haha! Love, Annie xx


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:** Thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed - I love reading your feedback so please keep it coming. This chapter is a little longer. Finally off to Hogwarts! Hope you enjoy:

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

Lily stood on the train platform, breathing deeply, trying to find a moment of calm amongst the hustle and bustle around her. Children shouted and laughed, greeting friends and saying goodbye to their families while owls screeched and hooted in their cages. The chugging of the steam engine was pierced with intermittent hisses of steam and doors slamming as the train compartments filled with excited, apprehensive students ready to begin the long journey north to Hogwarts. For many of them, it was their first ever journey. The first years clung to their parents and looked around nervously, unsure of who to talk to and where to go. It didn't feel so long ago to Lily that she was a small first year, completely overwhelmed by the new world she was thrust into. And now here she was, standing on the train platform once again, about to make this trip for the last time.

Gently she touched the badge on her chest, still unable to believe that she had been chosen, out of all the seventh years, as Head Girl. She had dreamed of being Head Girl of course, but to be standing here now, wearing the badge… who would have thought?

A squeal to her left drew Lily's attention and she looked up to see her best friends, Felicity and Sarah running towards her. They embraced in an awkward three person hug, talking over each other as they asked about holidays, families, haircuts and of course, Lily's appointment as Head Girl.

"Come on," said Felicity, always the pragmatic one. "Let's get ourselves a good compartment. Then Lily will need to scarper off to the Prefect's carriage."

The girls hoisted their luggage onto the train, The Cat hissing in its wicker basket as Lily banged her belongings down the train corridor and into an empty compartment. She'd only just sat down when the final whistle call screeched through the air and doors slammed along the length of the train as it slowly began to move out of the station.

"Our final train ride to Hogwarts!" Sarah said, lounging back in her seat and gazing out the window. Sarah was a tall, thin girl with very straight brown hair and a severe fringe cut over blue eyes. A smattering of freckles covered her small snub nose. She turned and grinned mischievously at her friends. "I wonder what adventures we'll have this year."

Felicity was already pulling her Hogwarts robes out of her trunk. She was the opposite of Sarah. Felicity was a petite blonde with eyes so dark they were almost black. While Sarah was fun, carefree and cheeky, Felicity was serious, hard-working and shy. She was also exceptionally kind. These two girls had been Lily's best friends throughout her years at Hogwarts and she knew they were the sort of friends a girl would have for life.

"Any word on who the new Head Boy is?" Sarah asked propping her feet up on the opposite seat and looking between her friends.

Lily shrugged and replied, "Robert Goldstein in Ravenclaw would make a good Headboy. So would Lupin but I expect his being absent all the time would make it hard for him to fulfil all the duties."

"Well, you'd better get down to the Prefect carriage. Let's just hope the Head Boy isn't a Slytherin!" Sarah laughed.

Felicity's eyes quickly flashed from Sarah to Lily and she interjected, "Not that we think Slytherins are _all_ bad, Lily."

When Lily arrived in the Prefect carriage, she quickly scanned the faces of the students who were already seated. The new faces were fifth years, nervous and eager to start their new prefect duties. None of the students were wearing the Headboy badge. She waited a few minutes until the compartment had nearly filled up until she cleared her throat.

"Hi everyone," she said beginning the speech that she had rehearsed over the past few days. "It's so great to see you all here and welcome to our new fifth year prefects. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Lily Evans and I will be your Head Girl this year." She looked around awkwardly. She'd intended to introduce the Headboy, but he was currently nowhere to be found. "Um, I'm sure the Headboy will be joining us soon, so we might wait a few moments until he arrives before we do introductions."

"No need," came a voice behind her as the carriage door slid open. Lily turned to see James Potter, a silver HB badge gleaming on the front of his dark wizard robes. Her jaw dropped in stunned disbelief. James spared her a fleeting polite smile before turning his attention to the rest of the prefects. "Good morning everyone, sorry I'm running a bit late – a few first years in the third carriage decided now would be an excellent time to practice their spellwork. I thought I had better redirect them before someone lost an eye." A number of the prefects laughed and James flashed them his charming grin. "My name is James Potter as many of you know, Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team," he pointed to a small red badge under the HB badge, "and now Headboy of Hogwarts. I know, I know, please contain your disbelief. Perhaps Dumbledore'd had a few too many glasses of firewhiskey when he made _that_ decision." Everyone laughed again. "Anyway, I aim to try as hard as I can to be a respectable leader and support all of you throughout the year." He smiled and clasped his hands together then looked over at Lily who was still gaping.

She quickly closed her mouth and cleared her throat. "Right," she faltered, "Well as I was saying…introductions."

One-by-one the students in the carriage introduced themselves and Lily was amazed to witness James politely greet them all by name and then outline the school rules and the responsibilities of the prefects.

"We'll meet once a fortnight," Lily interjected, before James had covered all the content that she had so carefully planned in her speech. "At those meetings we will hand out rosters, delegate duties and discuss any student concerns or queries. Our first meeting will be Tuesday 8th September, and the location will be confirmed closer to the date. Keep an eye on your House noticeboards."

"Thanks everyone!" James said as the prefects all stood up to leave. He appeared to be preparing to leave himself when Lily caught him by the arm.

"Headboy?" she demanded gazing intently into his soft hazel eyes. "How?"

James frowned slightly. "I imagine the same way you were made Headgirl."

"You know what I mean, James! Honestly, you and Sirius spend half your lives in detention – why on earth did Dumbledore choose you for the job?"

James took a moment before he answered, studying her face carefully. The he replied quietly, "He obviously saw something in me that you don't." And with that, he turned and left the compartment, hurrying to catch up with Remus.

Lily felt her face flush with shame. She hadn't meant to upset James but he must realise that his appointment as Headboy was a strange one, even for Dumbledore. Whether or not he deserved the position was not for her to judge, and she resolved to be politer to him in the future. She still remembered her sister's words from the other morning - _I got the impression that he wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible. He asked me not to tell you that I'd seen him._ Lily was so embarrassed by her behaviour that night – did James detest her because of it?

Lily took a deep breath and clenched her fists. She would forget about it. This was _her_ year. This was going to be the best year she'd ever had and James wasn't going to ruin it for her.

As Lily wandered back down the train, peering into compartments to ensure the occupants were behaving themselves, someone grabbed her by the hand and pulled her into a dark, deserted corner near the toilets. To her utmost surprise, it was Sirius.

"Hey," he whispered, careful not to be overheard by a passing sixth year. He reached up and cupped her cheek, rubbing his thumb along the corner of her mouth. Lily didn't have a chance to reply before Sirius softly pressed his lips against hers. Her stomach did a flip flop and she wondered stupidly what she was supposed to be doing with her hands as Sirius gently stroked her back and deepened the kiss. Then he pulled away and smiled at her. "Let's catch up, okay?" And the next minute, he had disappeared back down the train.

Lily stood stock still, a finger pressed to her tingling lips, her heart pounding and her abdomen feeling strangely tight. She had not expected that. Her mind had been so caught up in thoughts about James, she hadn't stopped to consider Sirius. Did he think their passionate kiss on the dance floor had been more than just a drunken mistake?

Checking to make sure no one had seen her, Lily hurried back to the compartment with her friends.

They looked up and smiled as Lily entered, but their faces quickly turned to concern as they took in Lily's ashen appearance and she dropped into the seat, burying her face in her hands.

"Lily what happened?" Felicity asked, hurrying over to her red-haired friend and wrapping an arm comfortingly around her shoulders.

"Oh god," Lily moaned into her palms.

Sarah, who had stocked up on goodies from the food trolley quickly unwrapped a chocolate frog and handed it to her. "Here, eat this and tell us exactly what happened."

Lily started from the beginning, telling her friends about her evening drinking with Snape, her drunken kiss with Sirius, her night with James and the following morning. And finishing with surprising kiss on the train.

The two girls gaped at her in stunned disbelief. Then Sarah laughed. "Oh my god, Lily, let me get this straight. You got drunk with Severus Snape who is _probably_ a death eater in training, you had a sloppy kiss with _Sirius Black_ – the biggest player in the school, and then _spend the night_ with James Potter who you _now_ have to share Head duties with? All in twelve hours?"

Lily groaned and shoved another chocolate frog in her mouth. "And now apparently Sirius seems to think we're dating or something."

"Do you actually like any of them?" Felicity asked quietly, her dark eyes penetrating.

"No!" Lily argued vehemently. But her mind flicked back to James' beautiful hazel eyes, the memory of sharing a bed with him and the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around her. Then she remembered Sirius' soft lips on hers, and the strange tightening in her abdomen.

Sarah smirked. "You like all three of them, don't you?"

"No," Lily repeated, this time honestly. "Of course I don't. And besides, Severus isn't even talking to me at the moment. I went to see him after our night out at The Arctic Troll and his mum said he didn't want to see me. I guess he was angry that I ditched him for the Gryffindor boys. She wouldn't even let me in to apologise to him."

Felicity sighed, "Lily I know he was one of your best friends, but you haven't been close in ages. And besides, the people he hangs out with now are really into the dark arts." She looked concerned. "You're probably better off without him."

Sarah flapped her hands impatiently. "So what about James and Sirius?"

Lily shrugged and gazed out the train window at the countryside whizzing past and the deep grey sky. "James doesn't seem at all happy with me. I don't know about Sirius, I feel like there's a side to him that maybe I haven't seen before."

Sarah smirked at Felicity and wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. Before Lily had the chance to answer, there was a soft knock on the compartment door and three small First Years stood outside looking nervous.

Lily opened the door and two boys and a girl stepped inside.

"How can I help?" Lily asked, assuming they had come to see her as the Head Girl.

The girl cleared her throat. "I'm Romy. This is Sam and Fynn and they were just bullied by some Seventh Years who took all the sweets they had just bought from the nice witch with the food trolley."

"Did you see this happen?" Lily asked Romy, who appeared to be the boys' spokesperson.

"No," Romy replied matter-of-factly. "But they came and told me straight away." She looked at her two friends, slightly concerned. "I think they've had a spell put on them – maybe the Confundus charm? They can't really remember what happened."

"Okay," Lily replied slowly. "Boys, when did this… _incident_ take place?"

"They don't remember, but I think it must have been about an hour after we left," Romy interrupted.

Lily took a deep breath. "I'd like the boys to answer for themselves, please," she said politely although she found Romy rather annoying. "Boys?"

"We don't really know," the one called Sam said slowly. "It's all a bit of a blur."

"And what did these Seventh Years look like?"

Again the boys looked at each other, puzzled. "I don't remember," said Fynn.

Lily turned to see what Sarah and Felicity thought, but they looked as puzzled as she felt. It definitely sounded like the boys had been magicked, and this type of magic was strictly banned at Hogwarts. Whoever had hexed them wasn't just playing a practical joke – they were being nasty.

"Alright, I'm going to go and investigate. What compartment are you in so I can come and check on you later?"

ooo

Soft rain pattered down on the train windows as the train made its way slowly through the English countryside. James should have been feeling excited, but instead he felt deflated. He kept reminiscing on the disbelief Lily had displayed about his being Headboy. The look of disdain on her face.

The compartment door slid open, and Sirius came in, a sly look on his face and a grin curling the corners of his mouth.

"Where have you been?" asked Peter through a mouthful of cauldron cake.

"Well my dear boy, I have been making sure that this year will be the most exciting one yet."

James raised his eyebrows at his best friend. "And what does that mean?" he asked drily.

"Let's just say that I found myself in a secluded corner with a certain Headgirl, and that we picked up where we left off the other night."

James felt anger rise in his chest as Peter laughed and went to high five Sirius. Remus didn't respond, but continued to read his book apparently oblivious. Sirius flopped onto the seat next to James and finally turned to face him, his smug expression slipping as he realised that James was not smiling.

"What's up Prongs?" Then he held up his hands and laughed, "I promise it was all G-Rated, no getting into the knickers of the Headgirl while on the train, I promise. You can't put me in detention for just a bit of snogging."

James snapped, "God, be a bit more respectful can't you? Don't talk about her like that."

Sirius looked taken aback. "It was a joke, _sorry_. What the hell's your problem?"

"Nothing," James muttered, turning away from his friend and glaring out the rain-spattered window. Sirius wasn't ready to let the subject go.

"You said you didn't care if I asked her out."

"I don't care," James said bitterly, just wanting his friend to shut up, and not having to think or talk about it anymore.

"Then why are you being such a dickhead?"

"Me? _You're_ the one being a dickhead talking about her like that."

"I already said I was sorry, I won't talk about her like that again, ok?"

"Whatever," James said.

Remus and Peter were watching the two dark haired boys intently, confused by this heated exchange between them, so unusual for the two best friends. But their conversation was interrupted when the compartment door slid open, and Lily Evans walked in. All four boys gaped at her.

"Um, hi everyone. I just needed to grab you for a minute," Lily began. Sirius leapt to his feet, but Lily blushed and shook her head. "No, sorry, I need to borrow _you_ , Potter."

James stood slowly and knocked Sirius with his shoulder as he left the compartment and closed the door with a snap behind him. Strangely, his temper calmed when he and Lily stood alone in the corridor and he managed a small genuine smile.

"What's up?" he asked. Lily quickly recounted the story of the three first years who had come to see her. James frowned in confusion.

"They don't remember anything?"

Lily shook her head.

"How strange. I'll go and talk to them – make sure that they're okay."

Lily was momentarily surprised by James' reaction – it was so thoughtful, but she hid her feelings quickly. She had already insulted him once today, she didn't want to repeat her mistake. Spontaneously, Lily took James by the arm and pulled him to the side, so the other three Gryffindor boys couldn't see them.

"James," Lily began quietly, reverting to the use of his first name. "I need to tell you something."

She looked so nervous and worried, James wanted to reach out and stroke her cheek, reassure her that she could tell him anything. But then he remembered the cold message from her sister – ' _she doesn't want to see you'_.

Lily cleared her throat. "Sirius just kissed me." Her large green eyes met his, and blinked in nervous apprehension.

James swallowed. "Why are you telling me this?"

"I don't know," Lily admitted truthfully. Why was she telling him this? Because she wanted James to say no? She wanted _James_ to kiss her instead? Suddenly she felt stupid, and wished she hadn't said anything. Sirius was his best friend after all – he would surely already know about this kiss. Sirius would have given them all a blow by blow account.

"Listen, Lily, if you're looking for my approval –"

"I'm not," Lily interrupted. "I just…"

James sighed. "Sirius is my best friend. He is the most loyal, kind and strong person I know. But he can also be an arsehole."

Lily couldn't help but smile.

"Just don't let him dick you around, ok?"

She felt confused. Was James telling her to go for it?

"Listen, he likes you. He doesn't often like girls, he just… _fancies_ them. So don't dick him around either, ok? If you like him then you should go for it. If you don't like him, then be kind and tell him sooner rather than later." And with that, James turned and walked away.

ooo

The castle was as magnificent as Lily remembered. Her heart dropped when she realised that she only had a year left inside its walls, and once again she was determined to let nothing stand in her way – this was _her_ year. Lily listened rather than talked at dinner, as she slowly ate her way through a plate piled high with roast chicken, potatoes, buttery vegetables, Yorkshire pudding, all dripping in a healthy serving of gravy. The Gryffindor seventh years were chattering happily about their holidays, classes, teachers and of course, the huge news that both Head Boy and Head Girl were from Gryffindor house. No one had heard of both the Head Boy and Girl being from the same house in decades and even then, Ravenclaw had been the house to claim that title.

James and Lily were sitting on opposite sides of the table, a few places down from each other, and Lily couldn't help but notice that he was shooting her more sideways glances than usual. Sirius too was trying to catch her eye, and Lily was carefully avoiding him. Part of her (the small squirmy part somewhere low down in her abdomen) wanted her to say 'to hell with it' and go for it. Wasn't she allowed to have a bit of fun once in a while? And Sirius was a guarantee of fun. He made her _feel_ things – excitement, a rush of blood, youthful. And James had made it quite clear he thought Lily _should_ go for it with Sirius.

Upon arriving at Hogwarts, James and Lily had spoken with Professor McGonagall about the strange incident on the train, but they hadn't spoken to each other again since. Lily knew they would have to communicate, and frequently this year. After all, they would be organising prefect duties and rosters and would have meetings with students and staff. But for now, it seemed there was an awkwardness between them. Lily just wished she knew why.

Dumbledore stood and cleared his throat. An instant hush fell over the four house tables and all eyes turned to the Headmaster.

"Good evening. Welcome to all of our new students and of course welcome back to everyone else. It fills me with such hope seeing your excitement and enthusiasm fill this hall. Too frequently this summer, we were plagued with unhappy news of accidents, disappearances…deaths. As many of you know, the wizarding world has been struck with a crisis of humanity, and we must find the strength within ourselves to pursue what is right. Sometimes doing what is right will not be easy. Sometimes it might be the hardest path you will have to take. But my hope is that we are all able to find that inner strength and honour our integrity." He cleared his throat in the deafening silence. "In this school we have integrity. In this school we respect humanity. We do what is _right_ , and there will be no lenience for those who choose to follow a darker path."

Dumbledore surveyed the students with his piercing stare and finally broke the tension with a small smile. "Now, I am very pleased to announce the appointment of our new Head Boy, James Potter and our Head Girl, Lily Evans. Mr. Filch has asked me to remind you that magic is not to be practiced in the Hallway. Quidditch trials will be held next week and of course, you will receive your course timetable in the morning. Now, go and get a good night's sleep and we look forward to seeing you fresh and ready to learn in the morning."

The students all rose from their seats and Lily shot a glance at Felicity and Sarah, both looking concerned.

"Well that was quite the speech," Felicity breathed, shaking her head incredulously. "What a way to start the year."

"He made himself quite clear though, didn't he? Deatheaters and their values will not be tolerated at Hogwarts."

Lily shrugged, "I think he had to take a tough stand – there were some nasty things starting to happen at the end of last year. Maybe he wants to make sure they don't start up again."

The girls got to their feet and waited for a crowd of Hufflepuffs to walk past before they moved. "They already have though," Felicity pointed out. "That incident on the train with the First Years. That sounds like dark magic to me. It's one thing to steal someone's sweets, it's another entirely to Confund them so they can't even remember what happened."

Lily was about to reply when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Hang on a minute Miss Evans." Professor McGonagall had stopped her before she left the hall. "Off you go girls, you'll see Miss Evans later."

Felicity and Sarah shot Lily a puzzled look, but did as they were told and left the Great Hall.

"We're just waiting for Mr. Potter. Ah – there he is."

James joined them, looking as confused as Lily felt.

"Come along you two. I need to show you to your new quarters."

Lily froze. "Our new what?"

Professor McGonagall was clearly in a hurry to get to bed herself and she frowned at Lily. "Your new quarters. It is tradition for the Head Boy and Girl to have their own quarters. I believe you'll be rather pleased. Come along now." She turned and led James and Lily from the Great Hall, up the main staircase and along the second floor corridor. They passed through a hidden doorway and along another passageway before they arrived at an old, fraying tapestry.

"The password is _integritas_." The tapestry drew itself aside and revealed a heavy oak door which swung open.

"This is your new common room," Professor McGonagall announced, leading them through the doorway into a small, cosy room, hung with tapestries and filled with squashy armchairs, heavy dark furniture and exploding bookshelves. The Cat was already curled up on a velvet cushion, fast asleep. "It is unusual to have a Head Boy and Head Girl both from the same house, so I took advantage of the situation and styled the room with Gryffindor colours," Professor McGonagall explained, indicating the deep scarlet wallpaper and curtains and the large tapestry of the Gryffindor lion that hung over the mantel piece. A fire roared in its depths, casting a soft flickering light across the room.

"It's lovely," Lily said unsure of what else to say and still wrapping her head around the idea that she wouldn't be returning to Gryffindor tower, or her friends. "Thank you."

"Now," Professor McGonagall said briskly, "you each have a room and a bathroom at opposite ends. Lily, I suggest you take the North facing room, and James, you take the South – there is an excellent view of the Quidditch pitch from there. I helped Professor Flitwick with a very interesting spell to lock your doors." She led the pair over to Lily's bedroom door and indicated the door handle. "Touch the door handle Lily."

Lily reached out and did as she was bid. The metal handle felt warm under her touch and her fingertips tingled with magic.

"What was that Professor?"

Professor McGonagall looked pleased with herself as she explained. "This door will remain locked against anyone you do not wish to enter. Friends and house elves will be able to enter through the door at your will, whereas unwanted guests and pranksters will not. To put it simply, your door admits invited guests and bars all others." Professor McGonagall pushed her glasses up her nose and smiled proudly. "A very tricky bit of magic. Potter, your door will work the same once you have touched it." She straightened and looked around. "I think that's everything. Students under seventh year are not permitted in your quarters, so if you are running a study group then you will need to meet in the library or a common room. You will meet with the prefects once a week, and will be invited to weekly staff meetings. You will also meet with Dumbledore twice a term. Make sure you put time aside to talk with students about questions and concerns as you will report any ongoing student issues at staff meetings. I especially want you to keep on top of this nasty incident on the train – if there is any other hazing of first years let me know at once. Understood?"

Lily and James nodded, both looking slightly bewildered at the scope of their new responsibilities.

"Any questions?"

"None at the moment, professor," said James as Lily shook her head.

"Then I shall leave you to it. Goodnight." Professor McGonagall reached the door and turned back to face them. "Ah, it is tradition for the Head Boy and Head Girl to host a Christmas Party for the Seventh Years. A chance to let your hair down before final examinations. Something to think about."

Once Professor McGonagall had left the Head Common Room, James turned to Lily and whistled. "Did you have any idea of the work load that came with this job?"

Lily smiled nervously. "Potter… _James_ , we're going to be seeing a lot of each other this year. We're going to have to get along…"

James interrupted her with a smile. "Evans," he said with a grin. "We're good, ok?"

Lily couldn't help but smile back, and she felt relief that he wasn't going to make things awkward. "Goodnight. _Potter_."

* * *

 **AN:** I hope you enjoyed! Please leave a review and let me know what you think so far xx Annie


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:** Hi everyone, thank you so much to all those who have read and reviewed. I am so glad you are enjoying the story. You all seemed to like having a longer chapter last week, so I have made this one even longer still! :) There is a lot of tension between Lily and James this week as Sirius continues to pursue Lily. I promise you won't have to wait too much longer for the Lily and James fluff - I mean, they are sharing a common room after all, I wonder what sort of compromising situations they might end up in…

I hope you enjoy! And don't forget to leave me a review ;) xxx

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

Lily awoke to bright sunshine streaming through her bedroom window. It took her a moment to get her bearings but then she remembered – she was in her new Head Girl dormitory. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, yawning. Sniffing the air, she realised there was a faint scent of coffee wafting in from the common room.

Scrambling to her feet, she threw on her dressing gown and slippers. Coffee was a must this morning. Wondering whether James would be up and around, Lily cautiously opened her bedroom door. Sure enough, James was already sitting by the common room fire, The Cat snoozing happily on his lap, reading the morning paper.

"Good morning," Lily said, pulling her dressing gown a little tighter around her. "I smelt coffee."

James looked up from the Daily Prophet and smiled at her. "It appears one of the benefits of the Head dorm is fresh coffee in the morning." He took a sip from his mug. "It's good too."

Against a wall was a table was laden with fruit, Danish pastries, croissants, coffee, tea and milk. Lily hurried over and poured herself a large mug and picked up the second copy of the Daily Prophet sitting next to a jug of pumpkin juice.

"So are we supposed to eat breakfast up here?" she asked James, sitting on an armchair near the crackling fire and warming her cool toes. "It will start to get a bit isolating if we have to eat our meals up here as well."

James shook his head. "No, this is just a snack apparently. The house elves put this out at five o'clock, just in case we got up early to study or to get some work done."

"Wow, that's a bit excessive isn't it?"

"Maybe, but did you hear McGonagall yesterday? Our work load _sounds_ excessive. On top of all the meetings and patrols, we're also expected to run study groups and somehow complete our own homework. Not to mention Quidditch practice."

Lily looked at James carefully and noticed that his lips were tight, and his eyes looked heavy. He seemed stressed already. "We'll manage James. Remember we have a team of Prefects to help us out. And we'll be able to get our own homework done during study groups and free periods." She took a sip of coffee and sighed contentedly. "Anyway, how did you know house elves were here at five o'clock this morning?"

"I couldn't sleep." James admitted. "I came out and the house elves were putting out these snacks. I've already had a donut and two croissants. He said they put out hot chocolate and biscuits in the evening too."

"We're going to get fat this year," Lily said with a smile. James met her eyes and smiled back and for a moment they stared at each other, a strange tension between them. Lily's heart began to pound and she tore her eyes away, hastily scrambling to her feet. "I'd better go and get dressed."

ooo

The Great Hall was packed with students when Lily arrived. Heads of Houses were making their way through the crowds handing out course schedules. Delicious scents of bacon and sausages wafted through the air and Lily felt her stomach rumble. She peered through the crowd and spotted Felicity and Sarah sitting on the end of the long Gryffindor table. Hurrying over to them, Lily slid onto the bench next to Sarah and dropped her heavy book bag onto the ground.

"Good morning," Felicity greeted her with a smile. "How was your night?"

"How's sharing a dorm with Potter? Tell us everything!" Sarah demanded.

Lily laughed as she helped herself to juice. "It's really not that exciting. We share a lovely common room, and we each have our own bedroom and bathroom. I doubt we'll even spend that much time there."

"What? That's it? Where are all the juicy details? I thought you'd be telling us that you and James spent another night together," Sarah laughed, a wicked grin on her face.

"Keep your voice down," Lily hissed, shooting an anxious glance at the second years closest to them. They were luckily too absorbed in their own conversations to hear what Sarah had said. "James hasn't even mentioned the other night, and with the speed he left the next morning, I think he'd rather not mention it again, okay?"

Felicity looked concerned. "Are you both just pretending it didn't happen?"

"Yes," Lily said firmly, although her heart sank. "It didn't mean anything."

Sarah shook her head, and her fringe fell into her eyes. She pushed it back and met Lily's eyes. "It just doesn't make sense. Does that sound like Potter to you? Why did he help you home and then stay the night, just to leave so abruptly in the morning? Potter doesn't do anything unless it's self-serving."

Lily looked down into her pumpkin juice and felt ashamed to feel tears welling in her eyes. She blinked hard and served herself a bowl of porridge, giving herself time to get her emotions under control before answering. "I've seen a different side to Potter lately. He seems to genuinely care about other people."

Sarah snorted her disbelief.

"No," Lily shook her head. "I know it's so different to the Potter we used to know. But I think he's grown up a lot. He's thoughtful. Maybe he's really starting to change." These words had just left her mouth when a commotion down the far end of the table caught her attention.

Sirius, James, Peter and Remus were roaring with laughter and Lily was horrified to see that Peter had a sausage wedged up his nose. Honestly, maybe they hadn't changed a bit. Just when Lily thought that perhaps their group had grown up over the summer, finally developed a sense of maturity, here they were acting like 5 year olds again.

"Starting to change, hmm?" Felicity said, raising an eyebrow as Lily blushed at the folly of her own words.

"Well I don't know," she replied. "You tell me why he stayed the night, then rushed out the next morning and hasn't brought it up again since. I can't figure it out. And if he's telling Sirius to pursue me -"

"Wait what?" demanded Sarah.

Lily gaped at her friends, horrified to realise that she hadn't yet told them about her kiss with Sirius on the train. So much had happened in the last 24 hours. She shot a quick glance around her to make sure no one else was listening and then recounted the story to her friends in a whisper.

"Oh my god, Lily, what are you going to do?" Felicity asked, her big dark eyes concerned.

Lily shrugged. "I have no idea. I know what I _should_ do – tell Sirius to stop, but I don't know…a part of me enjoys the attention and the excitement of it all."

"Do you like him? Are you going to go for it?" Felicity pressed her.

Running a hand through her thick red hair, Lily let out a long sigh and looked down the Gryffindor table towards the boys. Her eyes rested on Sirius – so dark, tall and attractive. With his floppy hair and his strong jaw and his gorgeous smile, it was hard _not_ to like him. He was the sort of guy that featured in every girl's daydreams. But was he the sort of guy she wanted to end up with?

Then her eyes slid over to James. He was laughing at something Remus had just said, and ran a hand over his already ruffled hair. In many ways he was just as good looking as Sirius, also tall and dark with wiry muscles and a beautifully chiselled face. But there was something else there. Something that filled Lily's chest with such a strong emotion it nearly brought tears to her eyes. She couldn't understand it.

"I've never done anything crazy or exciting or irresponsible before," Lily said, finally looking back at her friends who were awaiting her answer eagerly. "It's my last year here, and my last year before we have to enter the real adult world. There's this part of me that just wants to have fun, let loose…stop caring so much about being responsible."

"Says the Head Girl," Sarah muttered but she was smiling.

"So is that a yes?" Felicity asked.

Lily hesitated, then said, "Yes, I think I might go for it."

Felicity and Sarah both gaped at her for a minute then Sarah's face broke into a grin. "Alright Lily! Wow, I can't wait to hear all the juicy details. Merlin, he'll have your virginity by the end of the week."

"Shut up," Lily snapped at her friend. Sarah could be so thoughtless sometimes. "No one will ' _have my virginity'_ until _I_ decide I'm ready thank you very much."

"Come on," Felicity said, trying to ease the tension between her two best friends. "We need to get going to class, otherwise we'll be late to Arithmancy and Lily you'll be late for Potions."

ooo

Professor Slughorn spent the few minutes before the bell rang talking to Lily about her summer, and her plans for the following year. He asked her how she was finding her appointment as Head Girl, and if she was intending on joining in the Slug Club events once again this year.

"I certainly hope so, sir, if I can fit it in. At the moment I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with the demands on my time."

Professor Slughorn waddled off as the bell rung and the remaining seats at her table were filled by Remus Lupin and a Ravenclaw boy named Danny Corrigan.

"Still Slughorn's favourite?" Danny joked as he pulled his copy of _Advanced Potions_ out of his school bag and placed it next to the cauldron.

Lily smiled at him. She liked Danny. He was smart and funny and always happy to have a chat. "Don't you know I'm everyone's favourite?" she teased, as Slughorn called for the students' attention. Once he had welcomed them to their final year of Potions and outlined the instructions on the board, the students set to work making a complex potion called _Coniunctus Melius_ that was intended to help concentration and focus.

"How was your summer Remus?" Danny asked as the trio worked quietly slicing up their ingredients and carefully following the instructions on the board.

Remus shrugged and smiled. "Oh it was fine. Uneventful."

"Same here," said Danny. "Although I suppose uneventful is good. Zachary Clare from Hufflepuff said his dad was interrogated by the Ministry over the summer – something to do with dealings with the Deatheaters. Apparently his dad was shocked by the whole situation, but just goes to show doesn't it? You can't be too careful these days."

"Let's talk about something else," Lily said. She'd had enough bad news lately – the Daily Prophet reported deaths and disappearances on a daily basis, and she needed to think about something else. "How are things in the boys' dormitory Remus? It must be strange without Potter."

Remus nodded as he measured a cup of lacewing flies carefully before tipping them into his cauldron. "It's certainly quieter. Although James and Sirius are a bit tense with each other at the moment, so maybe it's a good thing for them to have a bit of space from one another."

"Why are they arguing?" Lily asked suddenly. Her reaction was far too quick and eager and Remus looked suspicious.

He shrugged. "Oh I don't know. Nothing serious." Lily knew that Remus would be loyal to his friends, but she wondered what could have happened between the pair to have them disagreeing so early in the term. A small, narcissistic part of her brain wondered if _she_ could be the cause of the disharmony. Were the boys fighting over her? She shook her head. She was being silly, and vain. No, James had made it perfectly clear that he didn't _care_ what Lily and Sirius got up to, and Sirius was far too loyal of a friend to pursue any girl that James fancied.

"Are you alright Lily?" Danny asked, stopping her just in time from dropping an entire dried toad into the potion.

"Yes," she replied hastily, quickly rectifying her mistake and mentally shaking herself. "I'm fine. Sorry, just tired."

Danny laughed. "I think you might need a cup of this potion when we're done."

After Potions class, Lily had a free period, so she said goodbye to Remus and Danny and headed up to the library. It was very quiet and she sat at an empty table, pulling her Potions book out of her bag with the intention of starting the essay Professor Slughorn had set. She and James had to attend a meeting that night, and there wouldn't be much time for homework afterwards. Lily had only written the first two lines of her essay when someone's hands slid over her eyes and warm breath tickled her ear.

"Come with me," breathed a familiar voice in her ear.

Lily's heart leapt with excited anticipation and she couldn't help but smile. "You sound serious…" she joked.

"I'm always serious," Sirius replied, uncovering her eyes and pulling her to her feet. He led her by the hand into the rows of dusty books. Lily looked around uncomfortably, nervous someone would see them but the library was almost completely empty. She followed Sirius through the shelves until they were in the furthest corner from Madame Pince, and then he pulled Lily into his body, his hands sliding down her back, pressing up against her as his lips crushed hers.

Lily's insides twisted with excitement and longing and her fingers tangled in his hair as she deepened the kiss. They stumbled backwards until Sirius had her pressed up against the shelves, his hands wandering lower around her waist and hips, rubbing her skin through her school shirt and leaving it burning with desire.

She had to pause and catch her breath, and as she did so, Sirius kissed his way down her neck, scorching her skin with his lips. Lily gasped and pulled him closer, her mind whirling with thoughts and doubts and the excited fear that someone would see them.

Finally the two pulled apart, both panting, heat radiating from their bodies, their clothes and hair dishevelled. Sirius bit his lip and grinned sexily at her. Lily melted under his look and couldn't help but smile back.

"I've got to go to class," he admitted and kissed her swiftly on the lips once more.

"You're very late," Lily murmured, half wishing he would stay and keep kissing her, but also needing him to leave so she could actually think properly.

"Let me visit you in your dormitory after dinner tonight," Sirius said.

"I can't," Lily replied truthfully. "I have a staff meeting I need to go to."

Sirius smiled as he turned to leave. "You're going to drive me crazy."

Lily gave herself a few moments to compose herself before returning to her table and her Potions essay. There was no way she would be able to continue working now. Her mind was buzzing uncontrollably with thoughts of Sirius and those passionate kisses. If they hadn't been in such a private area, who knew where those kisses would have led. She was secretly very glad that she would be unavailable tonight. It was clear that Sirius had his mind set on one thing, and Lily was determined not to lose her virginity yet, no matter what Sarah said. She wanted to be in a loving relationship with a man who respected her when she made that choice. Not in a passionate fling with a boy who had a reputation as the school Casanova.

Looking around the library, Lily suddenly realised that Severus was sitting at a far table, his back to her, scribbling frantically on a piece of parchment. He hadn't so much as looked at her during Potions class and they hadn't spoken since their night out at The Arctic Troll.

Giving up on her essay, Lily stood and wound her way through the tables towards him. She was determined to have a conversation with Severus, whether he wanted to or not.

"Hey Sev," she said quietly, sitting down opposite him. Severus jumped and spilt ink across his essay. He swore and glared at her, dabbing the parchment hastily with the sleeve of his robe. "You've been ignoring me," she pressed on. I don't know why you won't talk to me. If it's because Potter took me home after the club that night, well that's not fair – he told me you were too drunk to take me yourself."

Severus finally looked up and met her eyes, a bewildered expression crossing his face. "He told you that?"

"Yes," Lily said. "It's okay, I'm not mad at you for getting drunk, I was pretty wasted myself."

"I noticed," Severus hissed at her, his lips pulling up into an ugly sneer. "After spending half an hour searching for you only to find you glued at the lips with that fuckwit Black."

Lily blinked, taken aback by his words. "So that's why you won't talk to me? Because I drunkenly kissed Black?"

"No," Severus shot at her. "I don't want to talk to you, because I don't want anyone to think I could be friends with a Mudblood slut like you."

Cold anger washed over Lily and she felt her hands begin to shake with fury. She opened her mouth to retaliate when someone called her name and she looked up to see the source of the commotion rushing over to her. Sarah and Felicity were both panting, their faces pink and their eyes bright.

"Lily! You've got to come and see this quickly. There's been some kind of incident in the Gryffindor common room," Felicity panted, pushing her blonde hair out of her eyes.

"It's insane Lily, the room has been completely trashed. It looks like a mountain troll has been let loose in there," explained Sarah.

"Smells like it too," interjected Felicity.

Lily turned and glared at Severus. "Do you know anything about this, Snape?" she demanded angrily.

"Why would I care about the Gryffindor common room?"

"Because it sounds like the sort of thing some of your friends would do," Lily accused.

At that moment Madame Pince came bustling over and snapped at the group for causing an excessive amount of disruption in her precious library. The girls' excuses fell on deaf ears and they were hastily shooed out of the library by the irate librarian.

As the friends made their way up to the Gryffindor common room, Felicity and Sarah explained what they had found when returning to Gryffindor tower between classes. Professor McGonagall had already been informed and the Fat Lady interrogated.

"The strange thing, Lily," explained Felicity, "is that the Fat Lady can't remember who gained access to Gryffindor tower. She remembers letting someone, or a group of someones, in. But she has absolutely no idea who they were or what they looked like."

"That's a serious bit of dark magic, to hoodwink a magical object like that," said Sarah.

"It sounds like it could be the same people who attacked the First Years on the train," mused Lily and her friends nodded in worried agreement.

"Do you think Slytherins are behind this?" Felicity asked as they rounded the corner and hurried up the corridor to the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"I don't know, Fe," Lily admitted. "It certainly seems like it could be, but this is so much worse than typical house rivalry. And it wasn't Snape, he was in Potions with me this morning."

The Fat Lady sat in her painting looking frightened and dishevelled when the girls approached her. "The password has changed," she snapped haughtily at the trio.

"We know," replied Sarah, "Professor McGonagall already told us. The new password is _incolumem_."

The Fat Lady glared at them, then huffed in irritation and swung open. House Elves were already at work, putting the common room back to rights, but Lily still had to cover her nose at the stench of raw sewage. She gasped at the level of destruction. Every piece of furniture had been overturned, every cushion slashed open so that feathers billowed across the floor. Tapestries and paintings were ripped to shreds and a disgusting green-brown slime was smeared across the walls and ceiling. A handful of students stood at the edge of the room, surveying the destruction with horror and disbelief and Professor McGonagall stood in its centre, speaking with a House Elf.

 _Who could have possibly done such a thing?_ Lily wondered.

Professor McGonagall looked up and saw Lily standing there and beckoned her over.

"Lily, I'll need you to go and check the Head Dormitory and ensure the same havoc hasn't been wreaked there. If whoever did this is targeting Gryffindors they might have gone after you and James as well. Dumbledore will speak with everyone about this incident at dinner, and we'll discuss it further at the staff meeting tonight. Can you and James try and talk to all the Gryffindors at lunch time today? Reassure them that the common room will be set to rights by the time they return this evening. I imagine some of the first years will be quite shaken up by this event."

Lily nodded in agreement, said goodbye to her friends and hurried off to check the Head Dormitory.

ooo

Throughout the rest of the day, the Gryffindors buzzed with worry and excitement, distracting them all from their first day of classes. Professor McGonagall eventually snapped at the Seventh Years to "pay attention!" halfway through her Transfiguration class when not a single one of them had managed to complete the task she set.

After lunch, the Seventh Year Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs queued up outside the greenhouses, waiting for Professor Sprout to let them in to their first Herbology class of the year. It was a glorious day, and Lily was enjoying their time outside in the sunshine. James and his friends were standing close by and every so often Sirius would shoot her a sideways glance or a wink.

Once they were inside and Lily, Sarah and Felicity were huddled around their Vampire Magnolia Shrub, Sarah finally confronted Lily.

"Something you want to tell us?" she asked with a smug smile.

Lily sighed, pulled her long hair back into a ponytail and donned her dragon hide gloves. She wasn't sure she was ready for this conversation. "With regards to?"

"Don't play dumb, Lily," said Sarah. "I'm talking about the Marauders who have been looking our way all afternoon."

"Don't call them the Marauders," chided Felicity. "It's a stupid name."

Lily looked over to the group of boys who were all laughing hysterically about something. James was clutching his side, bent over double in stitches while Remus had tears streaming from his eyes. Professor Sprout bustled over to them, chiding them for their lack of attention and for a moment, Lily worried their laughter was centred around her.

"Sirius kissed me again this morning," Lily admitted to her friends.

"Oh my god!" squealed Sarah, causing the Hufflepuffs at the next pot to look around. "When? Why didn't you tell us?"

"In the library," said Lily, "right before you came and found me. I didn't mean to keep it from you, but we were all distracted from other things."

"Has he asked you out?" asked Fe, her dark eyes large with anticipation.

"I don't think he's really the sort of guy who's going to take me out on a date, Fe. Have you ever known Sirius Black to have a girlfriend? Although, James did say on the train that Sirius actually has feelings for me, unlike the other girls he's been with. I don't know what to think. I like his kisses, they're fun and exciting, but he's not the sort of guy I want to be in a relationship with."

More snorts of laughter drifted over from the Gryffindor boys and Lily tried hard to ignore it. Surely her kiss with Sirius couldn't elicit this level of hilarity.

"What about James?" asked Felicity, watching Lily with a shrewd expression on her face. Of course Felicity would have picked up on Lily's innermost thoughts. Felicity knew _everything_ about her. Ever since they were 11 years old, Felicity could instantly tell if there was something wrong with Lily, or if there was something Lily wasn't telling her.

"What about him?" Lily asked innocently.

"Well it seems like you've been spending a lot of time with him lately."

"It's not like we have a choice Fe!" Lily replied haughtily, carefully pruning the fanged shrub, and pulling her hand away quickly before she suffered a bite. "We're sharing a dormitory. I think it's best if we try and be friends this year."

"Friends with Potter," mused Sarah. "Now that would be interesting." She sighed and looked around the greenhouse. "Well if you're seeing Sirius, then maybe I'll ask James out. He is gorgeous, and you've seen him on the Quidditch pitch."

A surge of hot jealousy filled Lily's chest but she bit her lip. She had no right to be jealous, and Sarah could ask out whomever she wanted.

"Unless you don't want me to?"

Lily looked up to see both her friends watching her, matching expressions of suspicion on their faces. "Listen you two, there is absolutely nothing going on between me and James. For goodness sake, James told me to go for it with Sirius – would he do that if he secretly liked me?" She pressed on before the others could interrupt. "James doesn't like me, so there's no point me even considering it, okay? This year, we're going to work together and be friends. End of story."

"Fine," Sarah shrugged. "I'll ask him out then."

"Do whatever you want," Lily retorted angrily. "I don't care." She clicked her shearers so hard an entire branch of the vampire magnolia snapped off with a startling shriek of pain.

ooo

James sat with his friends at dinner, piling his plate high with beef casserole, potatoes and green beans. He was starving after a long day of classes and wasn't looking forward to the staff meeting that evening. Remus was reading from his Defence Against the Dark Arts textbook and ignoring the conversation around him. A small part of James wondered why Dumbledore hadn't appointed Remus to be Head Boy. It made the most sense. Remus was studious, sensible, responsible. Everything James wasn't. Was it simply because Remus was a werewolf?

"Hey Moony, we're good aren't we?"

Remus looked up from his book, eyebrows raised in surprised. "Good? Yeah, why?"

James shrugged. "You've just been quiet."

It was Remus' turn to shrug. "Full moon in a couple of days, feeling a bit off. That's all." With a smile, Remus took another mouthful of casserole and turned his attention back to his book.

Sirius and Peter were having a heated discussion about the efficacy of aging potion when avoiding the Trace and James rolled his eyes. Those two were always bickering about something.

Peering down the long Gryffindor table, James caught Lily's eye and she hastily looked away, a dull blush spreading across her cheeks. He frowned, wandering what she had been thinking about.

"You're just wrong, Wormtail," Sirius exclaimed loudly, banging his hand on the table for emphasis and spilling his goblet of pumpkin juice. "I don't care what your Great Aunty Agatha says her great-grandfather Rudolph did when he was sixteen, you're wrong."

"Give it a rest can't you?" James complained wearily, rubbing his temples. He felt a headache coming on.

"Listen, do you actually have a staff meeting tonight?" Sirius asked. "Because Evans said I couldn't come and visit her in your dormitory because you had a staff meeting."

James gritted his teeth. So, they were planning a romantic rendezvous in his dormitory now were they? "Yes, we have a meeting. And if you don't mind, I'd rather not have the two of you snogging in my common room thanks very much."

Sirius missed the thinly veiled anger in James' voice and laughed. "Mate, we certainly won't be doing it in the common room, I'm sure Evans' bedroom is plenty private enough."

James stood with a loud scrape of the bench across the stone floor. "I'm going," he said, without saying goodnight.

Sirius gaped after him, amazed that his best friend would act so rudely. "What the hell was that about?" Sirius demanded after James had left the Great Hall.

"Isn't it obvious?" Remus asked without looking up from his book.

"No!" Sirius exclaimed while Peter shook his head furtively.

Letting out a long sigh, Remus marked his page carefully and set his book down beside his plate. "Come on Padfoot, you know how James feels about Lily."

Sirius simply gaped at him.

"Ever since first year, James has been infatuated with her."

"He never said -"

"He didn't have to," Remus interrupted. "It's just obvious."

Sirius crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair haughtily. "Well I talked to him over the holidays and Prongs gave me the green light. He told me to go for it. And I think it's fairly obvious she likes me too. Prongs can't blame me for that – I can't control the way Evans feels."

Remus shrugged. "Maybe not, but I imagine he's feeling jealous and his pride is hurt."

"If he wants Evans, all he has to do is say it. Prongs knows I'd let him have her."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Well I think James probably doesn't see her as a commodity to be so easily traded, Padfoot."

ooo

Lily and James sat side by side in the staff room that evening, feeling distinctly awkward as the teachers milled around, chatting and making themselves cups of tea as they waited for the meeting to start. The staff room was large and comfortable, with a long table running down its centre and a number of comfortable sofas and armchairs placed along the walls.

Once Dumbledore arrived, greeting everyone warmly, the teachers found their seats around the tables and everyone quietened down, waiting for him to begin.

"Good evening, everyone and a warm welcome to our new Head Boy and Girl." There was a smattering of polite applause as the teachers congratulated the pair on their new roles. "James and Lily, we will begin each meeting by discussing school and student matters relevant to you, and then you may leave, as I'm sure you have plenty of other responsibilities to be getting on with."

"Thank you, sir," said Lily dipping her quill into her ink pot, ready to take notes. James hadn't brought anything with him, so he merely crossed his hands in his lap and tried to look comfortable.

"Of course we must begin by discussing the very serious matter of the Gryffindor common room."

"Terrible," professed Slughorn, shaking his head in disgust. "Gryffindors ransacking their own common room."

Professor McGonagall shot an angry glare at him. "I don't think anyone believes this was carried out by Gryffindors, Horace."

"Well who else would have had access to the tower?" he asked innocently. "The Fat Lady doesn't remember allowing access to students from other houses."

"She was hoodwinked," Professor McGonagall argued.

"We can discuss the perpetrators at greater depth later this evening, Horace, Minerva," Dumbledore interrupted. "But for now, the students of Hogwarts must be extra cautious about security. This includes keeping passwords secret and reporting anyone who is acting suspiciously. Prefects should pass on any reports of wrongdoing immediately to their Heads of Houses who will investigate further. It is clear that a student, or a group of students, is using magic which is forbidden at Hogwarts, and there will be serious consequences put into place for the culprits when they are caught.

"Now, student groups will be forming this week. All student groups need at least five members and must be approved by the Head Girl and Boy before they can commence." Dumbledore ran through the guidelines for student groups and organisations and then Lily and James were dismissed.

"We're going to be busy this term," James commented as they walked through the empty corridors back to their dormitory. "I've got Quidditch trials starting this week too."

"We'll manage," said Lily, "I just hope this trouble doesn't continue throughout the year. I've been thinking, whoever destroyed the common room this morning must have had help from a Gryffindor – how else would they have known the password?"

James shrugged. "Overheard it in the hallways maybe?"

"Maybe," Lily said disbelievingly. "It's unlikely though isn't it?"

"Did you have a good first day?" James asked. "Except for this morning, obviously."

Lily remembered her heated kiss with Sirius and blushed. Then she remembered Severus' harsh words. "Bit of a mixed day really." Lily hesitated and licked her lips. She wanted to know what James thought about Sirius pursuing her. "Has Sirius talked to you about me?" Lily asked him tentatively.

James stopped walking. "No, why?"

Lily felt herself blush. "Well…he kissed me again today, and -"

"Lily stop," James cut her off. "I'm happy for you two, really I am. I think you're great together But I don't want to talk to you about it, okay? I'm not your new best friend, and I don't want to gossip with you about your love life." And with that he stalked away from her, leaving an astonished Lily standing by herself in the hallway.

"Right," Lily mumbled, feeling embarrassed and a little ashamed. She looked around the deserted hallway and decided she wasn't ready to go back to the Head Dormitory yet – not if James was going to snap at her again. She changed course and instead went up to Gryffindor tower to spend the evening with Sarah and Felicity.

* * *

So what do you think? I hope you all enjoyed! Let's do a little vote for the next chapter - do we want more steam or more fluff? Leave me a review! Love, Annie xxx


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:** I am SO sorry for the delay in updating! Went away on holiday and then life got crazy busy. Thank you so much to all my readers and reviewers and hope you've stuck with me. Next chapter is already half-written so I promise there won't be as long of a wait next time. Hope you enjoy this chapter. A bit longer and we get to see some development in the Gryffidor's relationships and friendships. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter Five**

It was a rainy Friday night, and James and Lily sat together in an empty classroom, trying to ignore the awkward silence between them. James tapped the end of his quill on the table and Lily clicked her tongue impatiently.

"You did tell everyone it was at half six didn't you?" James asked.

Lily sighed, "No, I said we would be here for an hour after dinner."

"You know everyone will get here in the last ten minutes don't you?" James checked his watch and leant back in his chair.

"Well next time you can put up the notice," Lily replied snarkily, hating that he was right.

At precisely that moment, the classroom door opened and a group of seventh year Gryffindors meandered in. The group was comprised of the Marauders and Lily's friends and Lily felt her stomach clench in nervous anticipation as Sirius Black grinned at her and winked and Remus Lupin approached their table.

"You two look busy," Remus joked and sat down opposite them. "Fun evening?"

Lily simply rolled her eyes and James replied, "Having the time of our lives."

"Many people sign up for clubs yet?"

"You're our first," said Lily, dipping her quill in the ink and carefully scratching Remus' name into the parchment. She glanced up to see Sirius chatting and laughing with Sarah and Felicity and hastily returned her attention to Remus. "What club are you forming?"

"McGonagall wants me to lead the Chess Club again this year," Remus said, trying to sound enthusiastic. He failed dismally. Lily wrote _Chess Club_ next to his name.

"Day and time of meetings?"

"Same as last year," Remus shrugged. "Monday evenings and Saturday afternoons in the Great Hall."

"Great," Lily replied putting her quill down. "Thanks Remus."

He stood up and grinned at them both. "Dinner is about to finish. I bet you'll have a queue out the door in no time."

Lily glared at James who smirked, but had the sense not to say anything. It was Felicity's turn to wander over to the pair and sit down.

"I didn't know you wanted to start a club, Fe," Lily said.

"Homework group?" James asked and Felicity ignored him.

"I want to start a running club," she said simply.

James pulled a face of disgust, sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. "We already have Quidditch teams. There is no precedent for forming new exercise groups."

Felicity glared at him with her big dark eyes and pushed her short blonde hair away from her face. "Well, we need to set a precedent. The wizarding community doesn't put enough emphasis on the importance of an active and healthy lifestyle and I think we need to change that. I mean, for goodness sake, our only sport in played _sitting down_."

James visibly bristled at these words and Lily sunk a little lower in her seat. Even _she_ had the common sense not to insult Quidditch in front of James.

"I'll have you know that Quidditch is extremely physically demanding."

"Yes, all that sitting down must be really exhausting," Felicity replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You really think you're fitter than me?" James asked, smirking and leaning forwards on the table.

"Yes," Felicity replied, a steely glint in her eyes and look of stubborn determination on her small pointed face.

Lily looked between the two and licked her lips nervously. She didn't like where this was heading. The rest of the room had gone quiet as James' and Lily's friends turned to watch the argument.

"Oh really? Well why don't we put it to the test," James challenged her.

Sirius laughed and whistled, and Sarah punched him on the arm, telling him to shut up.

"Listen," Lily began but was instantly cut off by her best friend.

"It's a bet!" Felicity said, smiling cruelly at James. "If I can run further than you, you have to support my Running Club."

"And if you can't then I want you to concede, in writing, that Quidditch is a physically demanding sport."

Felicity stuck out her hand and the pair shook. Lily rolled her eyes, and wrote Felicity's name and club down on the short list.

True to Remus' prediction, the room began to fill and it wasn't long until a queue of students snaked out of the classroom door and down the hallway. James and Lily took turns talking to the students, querying them about clubs, rehearsals and practices and their list grew. A few times they had to argue with first or second years about the feasibility, practicality and even the legality of certain organisations and finally, an hour later, the number of students had dwindled.

Danny Corrigan, a Ravenclaw seventh year and Lily's friend, approached the table and sat down. A group of nasty looking Slytherin seventh years stood behind him, looking annoyed that they were being made to wait.

"What can we do for you, Danny?" James asked pleasantly, writing his name on the bottom of the list.

"I want to start an Ethics club."

"Ethics club?" James repeated in confusion.

Danny licked his lips. "Well, I think it would be beneficial for the students of Hogwarts to be involved in conversations about ethics. I think that often the ethical repercussions of using magic are not fully considered and there's a need for open dialogue about this."

James frowned. "Okay. Can you give me an example of a topic you might bring up with your Ethics group?"

Danny shrugged, "Well, I haven't planned all topics for discussion yet. But one example I have is the statute of secrecy. Should there be a statute of secrecy? Don't wizards and witches have a duty to use the magical gift to help all humans?" Danny leant forwards and cleared his throat, a glint of excitement in his green eyes. He seemed unaware that the group of Slytherins behind him were now listening intently, and appeared they did not like what they were hearing. "There's discussion in the magical community about the statute of secrecy being born out of laziness and disdain for muggles – magical power is a privilege. It should be used to make lives better for all humankind, not just the magical community."

Lily cut him off, "Danny, I think it's admirable to open the floor to discussion about these sorts of topics, but are you sure this is really the best time or place to be doing it?"

"Where and when better?" Danny countered. "The young people who will one day be running this country are all at Hogwarts. And they need to be thinking openly about the ethics of our society and its laws."

James met Lily's eyes and they shared a significant look. "Listen Danny, we'll put your name down, but I think Dumbledore will have to make the final decision here. We could be opening a huge can of worms."

Danny grinned and stood up. "Just because something makes you uncomfortable doesn't mean it shouldn't be opened."

James smiled back and inclined his head. "I'm interested," he admitted. "But you'll meet resistance."

He laughed, "All innovators do."

Lily and James quickly recorded the final clubs and stood, glad to be finished for the evening.

"Interesting turn out tonight," James said quietly as he carefully rolled the parchments of names.

Lily reached out to pick up her quill and James brushed her hand while reaching for the ink. Lily fought the instinct to pull away and for a moment he froze, letting his hand rest against hers. Lily's heart pounded heavily in her chest and she didn't dare look up at him. Finally James drew his hand away and they finished tidying the classroom in silence.

Only when they were walking back up to the Head Common Room did James speak. "What did you think about Danny's club?"

Lily licked her lips. "I think it's amazing," she replied truthfully. "I think that things have been done the same way for a very long time in the Magical Community and people don't tend to ask why. Not because they don't care, but because it's just the way it is. I'm Muggle born so I see it differently."

James stopped walking and Lily paused too, turning back to look at him. His face was pensive in the dim light of the corridor. "I'd never really stopped to think what our world must be like for Muggleborns. Or even the ethics of using magic without the consent of the majority of our Earth's population. Does that make me a bad person?"

"Of course not, you're just human."

"So are muggles."

Lily laughed. "Well I'm not sure you'd say that if you met my sister's new boyfriend."

James remembered Lily's tall unkind sister and frowned. Petunia had said, _Lily doesn't want to see you_.

James just couldn't understand the beautiful person in front of him. Here they were, having a conversation more intense than he had ever had with another, talking so comfortably and freely. Her long dark red hair was swept over one shoulder, curling at the ends and brushing her school robes. She was so beautiful, with her huge green eyes, clear porcelain skin and her graceful willowy frame. James wanted to scoop her up in his arms and hold her. Or grab her hard, and press her up against the wall, letting his mouth feel the warmth of her skin. After their incredible night together, she had refused to see him the next morning – why? And why was she now dating his _best friend_?

"James are you okay?"

James shook himself and blushed, feeling ashamed. "Sorry, just tired," he lied and they continued up to their common room.

 **ooo**

Lily was woken early the next morning by a pounding on her bedroom door. She blearily opened her eyes as her two best friends burst into the room.

"Good morning," Sarah chirped at her, sitting on the end of Lily's four poster and handing her a coffee.

Lily took it with a frown and inhaled the strong aroma. "I deeply regret giving you our password."

"You have coffee and donuts," Felicity explained. "It would be selfish to keep that to yourself."

Lily sipped her coffee still trying to come around. She'd been having a wonderful dream about someone's strong, warm body and she felt hot and bothered. "My door was supposed to be locked," she mused.

Just then, another head peered around her doorway. James' hair was ruffled and his glasses askew, but he looked cheerful for so early on a Saturday morning.

"Good morning ladies. Are you sure you want to eat that donut before our big race, Fe? I'd hate for you to be disadvantaged."

Felicity grinned wickedly. "Just worry about yourself Potter."

"Can I go back to sleep?" Lily asked pulling up the blankets, suddenly self-conscious in her pyjamas. Her tshirt was almost threadbare and while she wasn't modest around Sarah or Felicity, she didn't want James getting a good look.

"Come on Lily," Felicity said. "Get dressed and come and watch me beat Potter."

Twenty minutes later, Lily stood on the dewy grass of the castle grounds, her cloak wrapped tightly around her against the cold misty air. Sarah was giving Felicity a pep talk while she stretched. James and his friends were close by and Lily watched them laugh together as James jogged on the spot. Lily drew a breath a worked up the courage to wander over to them, her heart pounding.

"So," she said by way of greeting. "What exactly are the rules here?" Felicity and Sarah had followed her.

"The person to run the furthest in half an hour wins," Felicity said, flashing a smile at James. "Sound fair?"

James shrugged and grinned back. "Works for me."

"Alright," said Sarah, glancing at her watch. "Take your mark. Get set….and go!"

James sprinted off across the grass, and Felicity trailed behind him, jogging at a slow and steady pace. The small group of Gryffindors watched them until they rounded a corner and disappeared. Once they were out of sight, Sirius wrapped an arm around Lily's shoulders and pulled her into his warm embrace. Lily felt her heart flutter and she swallowed nervously. It was his first open display of affection since their kiss on the dance floor and heat flooded her face.

"Half an hour to kill," Sirius said. "Shall we go for a walk Lily?"

Sarah wolf whistled and Lily blushed harder as Sirius led her away. They rounded the corner of the castle and Sirius took her hand as they walked past the greenhouses. Once they had reached a spot that was invisible to the many windows of Hogwarts, Sirius turned and faced Lily, resting his hands on her hips and dipping his head to kiss her on the lips.

Lily's heart leapt into her throat as his warm lips met hers. There was no doubt that he was a very good kisser, and she let herself relax into his embrace as his lips moved gently with hers. As the kiss deepened, Sirius' hands explored her back and rose to tangle in her hair. Lily allowed her fingers to explore the hard muscles of his shoulders and arms. Finally they came up for breath and Sirius moaned quietly.

"God, Lily, you're driving me crazy."

Lily couldn't help but smile as she tried to catch her breath. Sirius still clung to her tightly, and Lily was all too aware of their hips and thighs pressed together. "Is this okay, you and me?" Lily asked Sirius warily, not sure how she wanted him to answer.

"What do you mean?"

She licked her lips. "Well Remus said that you and James were fighting. And James seemed really annoyed when I brought us up the other day. He asked me out in fifth year, and the last thing I would want is to come between the two of you."

Sirius grinned and waved his hand nonchalantly. "Oh don't worry about that. James doesn't care what we get up to. Sure he had a crush on you a few years ago, but he's well over that now. In fact, I'd say he fancies Felicity – don't you think?"

For some reason, Lily felt her heart sink, but she smiled at Sirius and nodded. "Maybe, yeah."

"Come on, we'd better get back. They only have five minutes left." He laughed his barking laugh, "Bet you anything James is collapsed in a heap somewhere."

Sirius wasn't wrong. Once they had returned to the others, Fe rounded the corner, looking flushed but otherwise fine. She had completed four laps of the castle in the designated time. Five minutes later, James appeared, clutching at his side. He had completed two laps and was sweating.

"Fine," he conceded, bent double and panting hard when he reached the group. "Fine Fe, you win. Start your stupid running club then."

"I will. But first admit I'm fitter than you."

James groaned, collapsed onto the ground and rolled onto his back. "You're the fittest person I've ever met, alright? Oh my god I think I'm going to die."

Sarah, Felicity and Lily laughed and left the boys to tend to James as they made their way back to the castle. They celebrated in the girls' dormitory of Gryffindor tower and Felicity and Sarah teased her about Sirius.

"I like his kisses," Lily admitted. "It's always so exciting with him. But I'm not sure I want to go out with him."

"Has he asked you?"

Lily frowned. "No actually. He hasn't. Maybe he doesn't want to go out with me either."

Sarah shrugged. "Well if you're okay with that, then you might as well have some fun. It's our last year here, we should be enjoying it."

The girls spent the rest of their Saturday lazing around, eating a block of Honeyduke's chocolate and gossiping about their first week back at school. Felicity was writing a long letter to her parents and all three were glad to be out of the drizzling rain. Lily felt bad for the Gryffindor Quidditch team who she could see practising on the field from afar.

After dinner, the girls made their way up to the Owlery to post Felicity's letter. They climbed the tall tower, complaining about the cold damp air inside the stairwell. At the top of the staircase, Lily pushed open the door and froze before entering the room. The floor, usually strewn with hay and owl droppings, was covered in feathered bodies.

Hundreds of owls lay on the wooden floor, still as stone, their feathers ruffling slightly in the breeze coming in through the open windows.

Felicity, peering over Lily's shoulder, let out a horrified scream and clutched Lily's arm. Sarah clapped a hand to her mouth, and all three stumbled backwards, trying to get out of there as quickly as they could.

"Oh my god," Lily choked as they ran back down the stairs. "Oh my god, what happened?"

"We've got to find McGonagall," Felicity sobbed and they ran down the corridor towards the Transfiguration wing.

Panting, the girls stopped outside McGonagall's office and Sarah banged on the door. A few long seconds passed and then the door swung open. The girls all shouted over each to relay the scene they had just witnessed and Professor McGonagall raised her hands.

"Stop!" she instructed. "One at a time, please. Lily what happened?"

Lily took a breath, and as calmly as she could, explained to Professor McGonagall about the hundreds of dead owls in the Owlery.

"I'll get Professor Kettleburn," Professor McGonagall said. "He will determine the cause of what has happened. Did you girls see anything suspicious?"

They all shook their heads.

"Okay then," Professor McGonagall's voice shook as she spoke and she swallowed hard. "I will ask the Heads of House to speak with all the students and Mr. Filch can keep students away from the Owlery in the meantime. Girls, please return to your common rooms. Miss Evans, can you please let Potter know what has happened. I believe he should have returned from Quidditch training by now."

The girls all nodded and headed on their separate ways – Felicity and Sarah up to Gryffindor tower, and Lily back to the Head Common Room.

The walk back to the Head Dormitory calmed Lily and she'd stopped shaking by the time walked into the common room. Her mind was whirling with thoughts and possibilities. How had the owls all died? Had it been an accident – poison in their food? Or something more sinister? This was just like the vandalism of the Gryffindor common room, but so much worse. Was it the same people? The ones who had attacked the first years on the train? The _troublemakers._ She just wished she knew who they were.

And then Lily thought about all the pet owls her friends and classmates owned and felt awful. She looked around and breathed a sigh of relief to see The Cat snoozing happily in front of the lit fire. At least he was safe.

Her eyes then fell on a trail of muddy footprints leading from the archway to James' bedroom door. His broomstick, muddy Quidditch robes, and shoes had been dumped unceremoniously in the common room and a puddle of brown water was growing on the floor. Lily clenched her teeth and tried to count to ten. This wasn't the first time James had left a mess in their shared common room, and Lily was in no mood to be dealing with his mess tonight. She had barely made it to three when she grabbed James' robes and shoes and marched across the room, not bothering to knock as she flung his door wide open.

Her mouth dropped at the sight before her. James was half naked on his bed, one hand holding a magazine, the other wrapped firmly around his –

Lily clapped a hand over her eyes and stumbled backwards out of the room, her mind whirling in mortification at what she had just walked in on. "Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod," she repeated over and over in a horrified mantra as she fell into the common room and scrambled across the floor to reach the sanctity of her own bedroom. Once she was safely inside with the door closed, she buried her face in her hands, feeling the heat radiating from her cheeks. She couldn't believe she had been so stupid as to barge into James' room without knocking. She'd been upset and not thinking. But why hadn't the idiot locked his door?

Lily remembered McGonagall's locking spell – she had said that the spell would lock the door to any unwanted visitors. Well, clearly it wasn't working.

Lily got up and paced the room, trying to distract herself but images kept darting back into her head. Much to her embarrassment, her body tingled with a strange sense of longing as she remembered his toned body, his hand working firmly along his length. She shook her head trying to clear it. It wasn't right, it wasn't _appropriate_ to be thinking those thoughts.

A soft knock on the door made her freeze. She could pretend to be out, wait for him to go away. But at the end of the day, Lily knew she would have to face him eventually. Stealing herself, Lily crossed the room and opened her door. A very bashful (and thankfully clothed) James stood in the frame, hands sunk deep into his pockets, staring at his feet. He cleared his throat nervously.

"Lily, I just wanted to say-"

"No, please James, it's my fault. I'm so sorry I should have knocked."

"You shouldn't have had to see that."

The both stood in awkward silence until James finally looked up and met her eyes.

"Listen, Lily," he cleared his throat and ran a hand uncomfortably through his hair. "The magazine…I want to –"

"James," Lily interrupted, "please you don't have to explain, it's fine."

"No it's not," he said staring up at the ceiling now. "I want you to know that I don't see women that way. I know those sorts of things are degrading and inappropriate and-"

"James, it's _fine_!" Lily desperately wanted this conversation to be over. "It's just porn James. All teenage boys look at porn."

He met her eyes then. "I don't want you to lump me in with all teenage boys, Lily. Yes, okay, I look at it, but it has absolutely no influence on the way I think of women."

Lily smiled at him - she couldn't help it. "I didn't think that for a minute."

James rubbed a hand over his face and then hugged himself awkwardly. "Ok, so, I'm just going to go and curl up in a ball and die of embarrassment now if that's ok."

Lily couldn't help but laugh. "Well, at least now when I call you a wanker, I have evidence to back it up."

James stared at her for a minute then a grin slowly spread across his face. He shook his head and chuckled. "Do you forgive me?"

"Nothing to forgive," Lily reassured him gently.

ooo

The next few weeks at school passed in a blur. Lily was so busy with her schoolwork, head girl duties, Sirius and friends, that she didn't have time to dwell on the nasty incident in the Owlery or feel the burning embarrassment of her incident with James. James had been noticeably avoiding the common room, and they barely saw each other over the weeks, only occasionally bumping into each other when entering or exiting the dormitory.

Sirius on the other hand was far more present. His feelings for her were no longer a secret and he had no qualms about grabbing her in a crowded corridor or kissing her in front of a crowd of onlookers. Being pursued by the most popular boy in school had its benefits and Lily secretly enjoyed the attention that came with it.

Recently, Sirius had been growing more confident in his ministrations, and more than once, Lily had found herself needing to adjust her top or skirt after one of their covert dalliances.

During morning break on a chilly Thursday morning Lily was sitting with Sarah and Felicity, trying to keep warm in the cold air of the court yard. The girls were once again discussing the _Troublemakers_ as Lily now referred to them. The mystery of the dead owls had yet to be solved and Lily knew from the last staff meeting that a number of furious parents had been in touch with the school about the incident. Some First Years were still devastated about the loss of their pets and Lily was determined to find those responsible.

"Danny told me that some Ravenclaw Second Years were attacked yesterday. They were put under the full body bind curse and had all their possessions stolen. They can't remember what their attackers look like," said Sarah, biting into an apple and gazing across the courtyard.

"This is getting ridiculous," Lily muttered balling her hands into angry fists. "Why can't the teachers trace them?"

"They must be using dark magic," said Felicity.

"Look who it is," Sarah said, changing the subject and nodding her head at the group of Gryffindor seventh years.

Sirius had spotted Lily and made his way over. Lily noticed that James always seemed to disappear whenever his friends hung out with hers, but today he stayed with them, hands sunk deep into his pockets, and not meeting her eyes.

"Good morning, ladies," Sirius said, bending his head down and kissing Lily deeply. He finally broke away and Lily blushed, still not used to the very public display of affection. The bell rang.

"We've got Potions," Lily said to Remus, rearranging her school bag and patting Sirius on the arm awkwardly. "I'll see you at lunch, Sirius, okay?"

He swooped in for another kiss and Lily was forced to hurry after Remus who hadn't waited for her.

"Wait up!" she called as Remus made his way down the stairs towards the dungeons. He paused on the second step and Lily caught up to him, panting slightly.

"Sorry Lily," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to leave you behind."

"It's okay," she replied as they descended the stairs together. "Are you unwell, Remus? You look a bit peaky."

He shrugged. "Under the weather again. How are you anyway? I feel like we barely get time to chat these days."

Lily blushed wondering if he was referring to the amount of time she was currently dedicating to her relationship with Sirius. "I suppose we haven't been hanging out much, have we?"

"James has been a bit awkward around you."

Lily froze mid step and Remus paused too, looking back at her.

"What do you mean?" she asked suspiciously.

Remus met her eyes and then laughed. "He told me what happened."

Lily covered her face with her hands and groaned. "Oh god. I can't believe he told you."

"Come on," Remus pulled her hand away from her face and dragged her along behind him. "We'll be late to Potions."

Lily allowed herself to be led down the hallway, still crimson in the face. "Why on earth did he tell you?"

"You didn't tell your friends?"

"Of course not!" Lily exclaimed hotly as they entered the Potions classroom and she dumped her bag unceremoniously onto the floor. "Why the hell would I tell anyone?"

Remus shrugged. "James thought you'd probably told your friends. That's why he's been avoiding you all."

Lily frowned. "I can't believe he'd think that of me."

Remus didn't say anything but prodded his cauldron with his wand and flames leapt to life below. Lily followed suit. They were continuing the potion they had started last week, and the rest of the class were already adding ingredients to their cauldrons.

"I thought he was avoiding us because of me and Sirius," Lily admitted.

"Well, maybe it's a bit of that too," Remus conceded, keeping his voice low so that their other table partners couldn't overhear him.

"Why does he care, anyway? He's never cared who Sirius has dated in the past."

"That's because it's never been you."

Lily froze mid stir and stared at Remus. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing," Remus shook his head quickly, a dull blush creeping up his cheeks. "Forget I said anything."

" _Remus_ …"

"No Lily, please forget I said anything," Remus begged, trying to backtrack. "I only meant that James has a bit of a soft spot for you, that's all. Sirius has always been such a…such a _philanderer_ in the past, James is worried he's going to mess you around as well."

Lily couldn't help but smirk. "A _philanderer_?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Shut up, I couldn't think of a better word, ok?"

"Player?" Lily suggested.

"He's bounced from one girl to the next, sleeping with everyone and not caring who he hurts. James doesn't want you to be another notch on his bedhead."

Lily felt as though she'd been slapped in the face. She looked down at her hands and was mortified to feel tears fill her eyes.

"Oh Merlin, Lily I'm sorry," Remus said resting a hand on her arm. "Shit that was so thoughtless."

"It was true," Lily mumbled feeling ashamed and angry. Of course she was just another conquest to Sirius. And now that was the way everyone else saw her too – just another one of Black's airhead girlfriends.

"I promise, Sirius does not see you that way. Honestly!"

"James thinks he does though."

"James is just confused," Remus argued.

A tear trickled down her cheek and she brushed it away angrily. Remus swore again and hugged her tightly. Lily was all too aware of the many faces now peering curiously at them and she pushed him gently away.

"It's fine, Remus," she said softly, turning back to her cauldron. "Don't cause a scene ok? Professor Slughorn will be over here in a minute if we're not careful."

"Do you really like Sirius?" Remus asked her after a minute and Lily swallowed, unsure of how to answer.

Did she like Sirius? She liked his kisses. She liked the fun and excitement and adventure of their relationship. So was that a yes?

Lily shrugged. "We're having fun, that's all." After a few minutes of working together in silence, Lily finally said, "I wish things were simpler."

"Maybe they would be if everyone was honest," Remus mused, filling a flask with a small amount of his bright orange potion and stoppering it. "Anyway, are you nearly done? I'm going to take mine up for Slughorn to mark."

Lily quickly syphoned off a small quantity of her potion too and did not bring up the subject of James and Sirius again. She was left to ponder who, according to Remus, was not being honest.

* * *

 **AN** : Please leave me a review! They always make me happy and happy writers write faster – proven fact ;) Love, Annie xx


	6. Chapter 6

**AN** : Wow, so overwhelmed with all the love for last chapter, thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, I'm really glad you are enjoying the story so far.

 **BakerSon** thanks for reading, glad you're enjoying! **Helen** Haha thanks for all the reviews! Totally agree Lily needs to wake up and just admit what she wants. She will soon I promise! **J** Thanks for the review, I totally love Lily and Remus as friends too. **Anony** You will find out eventually Hope this chapter makes you happy **Coolfun** Glad you enjoyed! **HazelEyes** It was actually super uncomfortable to write, lol I was squirming **swift35** Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you're enjoying it. They definitely will be revealed, I promise! **Guest** Thanks for the advice, I promise not to drag it out for too much longer. I simply can't keep Lily and James apart for too long, I just love them together too much.

Now this is a bit of a shorter chapter, sorry! Hope you enjoy:

* * *

 **Chapter Six**

Autumn rain drummed hard against the windows of the Head Dormitory. It was cold – colder than usual for October and the drizzling rains and icy winds were unrelenting. James walked into the common room, dropped his bag and broomstick and pulled off his sweaty t-shirt. For some insane reason, or perhaps pride, James had joined Felicity's running club, and three times a week after dinner, James had been joining the other students to run through the school grounds. Tonight they had circled the lake, which was no mean feat, and running for an hour after Quidditch practice had caused James to work up a sweat.

"Hey!"

James jumped in surprise, not having noticed the figure laying prostrate on the couch. It was Sirius, leaning against the arm of the sofa, peering at James over the top of a magazine.

"What are you doing here?" James asked as he kicked off his muddy running shoes and wiping his forehead of sweat.

"I was bored. Thought I'd come and wait for Lily."

James frowned and flopped down onto the armchair. "You couldn't wait in her bedroom?" he asked rudely.

Sirius shrugged and sat up. "Nope, can't get in. Her door was locked."

That was strange, thought James. Professor McGonagall had said that the doors would only lock against unwelcome visitors. And yet this was another example of the door lock spell not working – first when Lily barged in on him – he still blushed to remember that incident. And now, when Sirius wanted entry to her room.

"Anyway, what have you been doing?" Sirius interrupted James' train of thought. "You look like you've been swimming in the lake."

"Running," replied James unenthusiastically.

"Why?"

James rolled his eyes. "I told Fe I would join her stupid running club. I've actually made the whole Gryffindor Quidditch team join – she had a point, we're not fit enough and a bit of cardio won't kill us."

Sirius shook his head. "Madness. Anyway, Remus and Peter wanted to talk to us about next week's full moon. Any ideas?"

James grinned at his friend. This was only their second full moon since returning to school and the Marauders hadn't managed to sneak away for the first one. "Let's see how far across the countryside we can get – I could do with some exercise."

"Says the guy in running club," Sirius joked and stood up, stretching. "Alright. Well I'm off to bed. Let Lily know I dropped in, okay?"

James rolled his eyes. "I don't understand what you two see in each other," he said bitterly.

Sirius laughed. "We're both extremely attractive. And Merlin's beard can she kiss. God, I can't wait to get to the next level with her."

"Don't talk about her like that," James said crossly but Sirius just laughed, not picking up on his friend's mood.

"What? I'm not being disrespectful!" Sirius argued. "I completely respect her. And her body. And everything she does with it."

"Shut up Sirius! She's not the kind of girl you just screw, okay?" James was so angry with his friend, he wasn't thinking. "She's the kind of girl you… _make love_ to!" James felt heat flood his face at this statement but he stood his ground, glowering up at Sirius who stared at him, a look of bewildered amusement plastered across his face.

"Okay then," Sirius said after a long pause.

"Okay what?" demanded James, feeling his body deflate.

"Okay, I will take your opinion under consideration."

"What does that mean?" James asked, worried now about what Sirius was going to do.

Sirius simply grinned, smacked James on the arm and left the room with a wave goodbye.

James picked up the cushion from the sofa and threw it across the room as hard as he could. It hit the floor with a dull thud – not a very satisfying release of his anger. The last thing he wanted to do was imagine Sirius and Lily in bed together – but had he just unknowingly talked Sirius into sleeping with her? He punched the arm of the chair in anger and stood, collecting his muddy belongings.

Just then, the common room door swung open and Lily walked in. She froze and stared at him. James' lean, muscled torso was on full display and she averted her eyes as her pulse quickened.

"You just missed Sirius," James said, watching her as a blush crept up her cheeks.

Lily nodded and ventured further into the room, placing her book bag on the large table and wandering over to the sideboard to make herself a cup of tea.

"I passed him in the hallway," she said, pouring hot water into her cup and trying hard not to look at James' half naked form. "Would you like tea?"

James shook his head and picked up his broomstick, about to head into his bedroom.

"Wait, James."

Lily was holding her mug in her hands and blowing gently on it. Her eyes were large and sad. "I just…" she seemed lost for words. "James, things are so awkward between us. I hate it."

James so desperately wanted to reach out and stroke her face, tell her that everything would be okay and simply hold her. He took a step towards Lily.

Then the common room door burst open and Professor McGonagall came striding in. "Excuse me Lily and –" she froze, staring at James in his state of undress. "Potter, what on earth are you doing in the common room in your underwear?"

James went crimson. "I'm not in my underwear professor," he explained hastily. "These are running shorts. I joined the running team."

"Well why on earth are you only wearing shorts? It's freezing outside."

James gulped and swallowed. "I was hot?"

Professor McGonagall shook her head as if to clear it. "Well get dressed at once! We need you both in the Hospital Wing – there has been another attack, and Dumbledore wishes to speak with us about student safety."

Once James was more appropriately clothed, the three of them rushed through the quiet, empty corridors to the Hospital Wing. Dumbledore was already there when they arrived, standing beside the bed of Danny Corrigan, who was allowing Madame Pomfrey to dab his forehead with a damp cloth.

"Danny!" Lily exclaimed, rushing over to him.

Danny's eye was swollen and bruised and he had a split lip, but otherwise he looked okay. He smiled weakly at her.

"I'm okay, Lily," Danny reassured her as he struggled to sit up.

"Ah, Minerva, James, Lily, I'm glad you are here," Dumbledore said. "Danny has been through quite the ordeal this evening."

"I really am okay, sir," Danny said. "Just a bit sore and shaken."

"What happened?" James asked, drawing up a chair and sitting beside Danny's bed. The others followed suit.

"I was on my way to have a meeting with Professor Dumbledore, to discuss the Ethics Club I want to start. When a group of three faceless guys attacked me. Two of them grabbed me and the third started hitting me. I managed to get my wand out and deflected their hexes and luckily I got away."

"What do you mean they were faceless?" asked Lily, appalled at his story.

Danny shrugged. "I'm not sure how to explain it. It was like they had faces, but I couldn't recognise them, and as soon as I looked away, I couldn't recall their features."

Dumbledore sighed. "As you can see, these attackers are becoming more confident and have no qualms using dark magic to achieve their goals. My greatest concern is that they targeted Danny because of his beliefs and values."

James frowned. "Do you think they are carrying out orders from the Deatheaters sir?"

Dumbledore peered at James over his spectacles and surveyed the Head Boy. "Or could they possibly be Deatheaters themselves? I don't doubt Voldemort would stoop so low as initiating teenagers if it meant having supporters at Hogwarts."

Lily felt as though an icy hand grasped her heart. Deatheaters at Hogwarts? She didn't want to believe it.

"We're going to have to increase security," Professor McGonagall said. "No students out of their dormitories after dark and no one may travel the hallways alone."

"Lily and James, we need for you to speak with the prefects. Increase patrols of the corridors, but ensure everyone is patrolling with a partner. We will also have an increased teacher presence in the hallways after bedtime."

The pair agreed, and Dumbledore dismissed them. They wished Danny a speedy recovery and left the Hospital Wing, both deeply worried about the events of that night.

James and Lily walked in silence back through the quiet, dark hallways, both lost in their own thoughts. The school, which had always previously seemed so safe and so strong, now felt like an unknown place. It was no longer the fortress James had once considered it to be. Had Voldemort's followers really penetrated its strong stone walls? Were these _Troublemakers_ carrying out his orders?

Lily let out a small stifled sob and James turned quickly to her, noticing a small tear running down her cheek. Without thinking he reached out and gently took her arm, pausing her in her tracks. She turned to look at him, and tears streamed silently down her face.

"Oh Lily," James breathed, gathering the crying girl into his arms, and shushing her quietly. Her shoulders shook as sobs wracked her body. James simply held her tightly against him, stroking her hair and whispering quiet comforting words. The feeling of her tucked into his arms was wonderful, and James felt as though his heart might pound right out of his chest. After a few long moments, Lily sniffed and pulled away from him, wiping her nose with the back of her sleeve.

"Are you okay?" James asked, knowing it was probably a stupid question.

"I just hate this. I hate that these people are doing such awful things and getting away with it."

"I always thought of Hogwarts as being infallible until now," James admitted, his hand still resting on her arm. They were so close James could feel her warm breath on him, and see the teardrops on her cheeks. He brushed them away with delicate fingers.

Lily looked up at him through her long lashes and her breath caught in her throat.

Then suddenly his lips were crushing hers. They stumbled backwards in the hallway, Lily's hands wrapping around the back of James' neck, drawing him closer as he grabbed the small of her back. Intertwined, they crashed into the wall, their lips working together hungrily. Lily tangled her fingers in James' hair as his fingers found their way under Lily's shirt to rest on the warm smooth skin of her hips.

A loud meowing from the end of the corridor broke the spell and they leapt apart, panting hard. Mrs. Norris was glaring at them with her large yellow eyes. She meowed again.

Lily touched a finger to her swollen lips and didn't dare meet James' eyes. "We better go," she said. "Before Filch comes."

James swallowed and nodded and the pair hastily made their way back to the Head Dormitory without speaking another word.

* * *

 **AN:** Thanks so much for reading – I can't wait to read your reviews!

Quick question – does anyone know when Snape finds out that Remus is a werewolf? Also does anyone know what position James plays on the Quidditch team?

Let me know if there are any requests for the next chapter. And should I put the rating up to M?


	7. Chapter 7

**AN:** Thank you so much for everyone has stuck with this story so far. I have decided to put the rating up to M, as I start to delve into more adult content. Thanks so much to all my lovely reviewers:

 **SarahDemons** : Glad you stumbled across this story and hope you're enjoying! **Guest** : Thanks so much for the info! I promise they will eventually talk and be honest :) **TaNiA:** Thank you so much for reviewing every chapter - you're amazing! So glad you're enjoying **Helen** : Wish granted ;) **J:** Thanks! **Coolfun** : Sorry it was so short, hope this makes up for it? And next chapter is even longer I promise **xxHazelEyelsxx:** Haha i do love a good cliffhanger, hope this chapter answers some questions? Or maybe not!

I hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

 **Chapter Seven**

James and Lily ran back to their common room, panting slightly after their escape from Mrs. Norris and Mr. Filch. A strange knot of anxiety was lodged in Lily's stomach and she wondered what would happen now.

As they walked into the room, James started to say, "Lily, about what happened…" But he was cut off as he saw their group of friends waiting for them. Sarah, Felicity, Remus, Sirius and Peter were all in the Common Room clearly having just helped themselves to cups of hot chocolate and cakes.

All of them spoke at once, wanting to know how Danny was, and exactly what had happened.

Lily quickly explained how Danny had been attacked, and the new security measures that Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall planned to put in place. Remus made an excuse and left in a hurry and the rest of the group sat around the fireplace, worriedly discussing their Ravenclaw friend and the increased attacks in the last weeks.

"They must be Slytherins," Sirius said bitterly, clenching his fists. "Can't we just expel them all? Problem solved."

"All we can hope is they're caught, before the next person they go after is seriously hurt."

"What about the Owls? Wasn't that serious enough?"

"It's getting worse."

Lily felt a dull ache growing in her temples. "I'm going to bed," she said to her friends, standing up. "Sorry. I'll see you all in the morning."

Sirius stood as well and followed Lily to her bedroom. James glared at their retreating forms, anger bubbling in his chest. He gritted his teeth. She had just been kissing _him_ , how could she now let Sirius into her bedroom?

As Lily entered her quiet, dark room, she could feel Sirius' presence behind her. She let him follow her inside and closed the door quietly behind them. She didn't feel like kisses right now, and so far in their relationship that was all Sirius had wanted from her.

"Sorry Sirius, but I'm feeling really tired. After everything that's happened tonight, I've got a headache and I just want to go to sleep."

Sirius took her hand and led her over to the bed, sitting down on the edge and drawing her down with him. "Lily, I want to ask you something."

Lily blinked, confused.

"Lily, will you be my girlfriend?"

Lily's mouth fell open. She stared at Sirius, who watched her earnestly. As far as she knew, Sirius had never had a girlfriend before. He'd always had girls hanging off him, and had slept with a good number of them, but he'd never actually dated any of them before.

"Why?" Lily asked, still dumbfounded.

Sirius grinned. "Well I like you obviously. And I know you're not the kind of girl who would just casually sleep with a guy."

Lily frowned at him. "So you want to be my boyfriend so I'll sleep with you, is that it?"

Sirius laughed at this and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "No of course not! I mean obviously I'd like us to get a bit more…well… _intimate_ one day. But I really like you Lily. And James told me that I should ask you out."

Lily felt as though she had been punched in the stomach. _James_ told Sirius to ask her out? The same boy who had kissed her not more than an hour ago?

"Sirius, I don't know…" Lily began, not knowing what else to say. Sirius pressed a finger to her lips.

"Don't answer me now, okay? Just think about it." He pressed his lips to hers and Lily felt her heart leap at the touch but she gently pushed him backwards.

"I really do need to go to sleep," she told him softly. "I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

Lily slept badly and when she woke the next morning, she still had a headache. She dragged herself wearily out of bed, glad that it was Saturday and she had nowhere she needed to be. She pulled on her dressing gown and padded into the empty common room, where she grabbed a mug of coffee and a croissant and hurried back to bed.

Lily huddled under the warm blankets, munching on the buttery pastry and letting the caffeine kick in. She didn't want to see anyone today, she simply wanted to hide in her room and sulk.

This was supposed to be the best year of her schooling. Seventh Year – top of the school, Head girl, getting ready to head out into the big wide world. But instead, everything seemed to be going wrong. The school was being terrorised by a gang of troublemakers. Her work load was out of control. And the wrong boy was pursuing her.

How had everything got so messed up?

Once Lily had drained her mug and finished her croissant, she snuggled back down in her warm bed, listening to the dull pattering of rain on the windows. She tried to clear her mind, and finally drifted back off to sleep.

It was noon before Lily awoke and she was glad of her lie in. Half the day may have been wasted, but at least she now felt rested. After a hot shower, Lily sprawled out on her bed and worked on her homework, determined to catch up on all of her school work. Only when her grumbling stomach disturbed her, did Lily finally leave the sanctuary of her bedroom and wander down to the Great Hall for something to eat. She remembered McGonagall's new rule that they were to travel the school in pairs. She was _not_ going to ask James to escort her anywhere.

Luckily Lily was so late for lunch that all the other Gryffindor Seventh Years had already finished, and Lily was able to sit by herself and eat her cottage pie in peace. She wasn't entirely sure why she felt so anti-social today, but knew part of her didn't want to see Sirius or think or talk about the decision she had to make. Deep down, Lily knew that Sirius and she would not make a good match. They had nothing in common, and while she enjoyed his attention and his kisses, she didn't want to be his girlfriend. But if James had been the one to suggest Sirius ask Lily out, then James clearly thought they were a good match. It was all too confusing.

Lily returned to the common room, and was disappointed to find it occupied. James sat at the table, working on an essay and looked up when she entered the room.

"Hi," he said. "Lily I wanted to talk to you."

Lily licked her lips and tried to stop her heart from racing. "Me too," she admitted.

"Let me go first," James said. "Our kiss last night – it was wrong, I'm sorry. I was really tired and feeling so down about the attacks. I don't know what I was thinking and I made a mistake." James cleared his throat. He'd used the morning to think about what he wanted to say to Lily and after hours of contemplation, he'd realised that his friendship with Sirius was more important than anything else. Sirius was a _brother_ to him. And his feelings for Lily couldn't come in the way of that again. "Lily, I know how much Sirius likes you, and you should go out with him. That was all I wanted to say."

Feeling as though the breath had been knocked out of her, Lily simply stared at James.

"Oh, and we need to talk to the prefects – I've organised to talk to them all tomorrow night, does that work for you?"

Lily blinked and nodded. James smiled blandly at her and returned his attention to his essay without another word.

Feeling angry and resentful, Lily turned on her heel and left the Head Dormitory, wanting to do something reckless. A small part of her wished the _Troublemakers_ would appear so she could hex them into oblivion. But her trip up to the Gryffindor tower was uneventful.

The Gryffindor common room was noisy and Lily glanced around trying to spot the person she was looking for. Not finding him, she made her way over to the Boys' Dormitory, and climbed the spiral staircase until she came to a door with a sign that read _Seventh Years_. Pushing it open, she was relieved to see Sirius was alone, lounging on his bed, his nose buried in a book. He looked up and was surprised to see Lily, entering the room and closing the door behind her.

"Lily what are you…?"

Lily crossed the room quickly, and crawled onto the bed, placing her knees either side of Sirius' hips and leaning in to kiss him full on the mouth. Sirius didn't hesitate. He kissed her back, running his tongue along her lips and feeling his excitement build as she opened her mouth to allow him entrance.

Sirius ran his hands slowly up her thighs, feeling her warm skin under her thick tights and letting his fingers brush the hem of her skirt. Meeting no resistance, he continued his path under her skirt and let his hands come to rest at the top of her thighs. Lily was kissing him hard, her fingers tangled almost painfully in his hair, her body pressed tightly against his. Sirius couldn't help but notice the swell of her breasts against his chest and he felt himself start to harden under her body.

What had gotten into her? Until now, she had allowed nothing more than kisses. Even a chaste hand on her hip had been met with awkwardness and disapproval. Testing his luck, Sirius slid a thumb down between her thighs feeling the warmth emanating from her most private area and grinned when Lily hissed in response. She was not pushing him away, but instead ground her hips against his pelvis. There was no way she couldn't feel his hardness now, but she didn't seem put off. Sirius rubbed his thumb up and down, wishing he could take off her tights and feel her soft skin.

Lily began to unbutton his shirt and he grabbed her hands. "Wait," he murmured, mentally kicking himself for asking her to stop. "Hang on."

"Why?" Lily asked. "Isn't this what you wanted?"

Sirius took hold of her wrists and gently pushed her backwards so he could see her face. "What do you mean?"

"Come on, let's have sex." Lily tried to resume unbuttoning his shirt, but he held on to her wrists, preventing her from doing so.

"No, Lily stop."

She glared at him then wrenched her arms out of his grip and climbed off of him, making her way to the door.

Sirius leapt off the bed and grabbed her by the shoulder, blocking her exit.

"Lily, what is going on with you? Where are you going?"

"You clearly don't want me, so I'm leaving."

"Of course I fucking want you Lily!" Sirius said forcefully, bewildered as to what was going on. "But I think we need to have a conversation before we start _shagging_ , don't you?"

"Do you normally have a conversation with girls before you shag them?"

Sirius narrowed his eyes at her. "Listen, I like you Lily. I like you a lot. And believe it or not, your happiness is important to me, okay? And right now, you don't exactly seem happy. You seem… _determined_."

Lily sighed and felt the fight go out of her.

Sirius led her gently back over to his bed and they sat down.

"Now, tell me what is going on."

Lily rubbed her face. "I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm just in such a weird mood today."

"That's okay," Sirius said. "You know I'm here to talk, right?"

"We've never really talked before," Lily admitted, starting to feel embarrassed about her behaviour.

"Let's start now."

Stiltedly at first, Lily and Sirius talked. About school, about friends, about their families. They shared their hopes for the future, and their fears about the future. They got to know each other. And Lily realised there was so much more to Sirius than the clever arrogant ladies' man he had always portrayed. He was thoughtful and brave and good. And if James didn't want her, than perhaps Sirius, his best friend, was the sensible and obvious choice.

 **ooo**

The Potions classroom was cold when Lily entered on Monday morning. She was early, and hurried to light the flames under all the cauldrons hoping the room would warm up quickly. She checked her watch. There were still five minutes until the class started. Lily wandered over to her usual table and drew her books and potion making kit out of her bag.

The sound of a door opening caused her to look up and Professor Slughorn entered the classroom.

"Oh Lily," he exclaimed, spotting her. "How delightful to see you my dear. I've missed you at my little gatherings lately."

"I've been so busy, sir," Lily explained, sitting on her stool and removing her gloves to warm her fingers by the fire. She was finally starting to thaw out.

"I've heard," Professor Slughorn replied, a twinkle in his eye.

Lily rolled her eyes but smiled at her favourite teacher. "I meant with my Head Girl duties," she said, laughing. "And the unrelenting workload. Do you teachers think we have nothing else to do but revise?" She grinned cheekily at him and he chuckled.

"Come on now Lily – I'm sure it's not all work and no play."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she retorted, an eyebrow raised wickedly.

Slughorn guffawed. "I must admit, I was surprised when I heard you were involved with Black. I had my money on Potter."

That wiped the smile off of Lily's face. What on earth did he mean? Just then, the classroom door opened, and the rest of the class trickled him, curtailing their conversation. Lily greeted Remus and Danny, but continued to wonder at Slughorn's words.

After Slughorn had instructed the class in the morning's potion making task, Lily chatted amicably with her two table partners. Danny's eye had turned a nasty shade of green, but it was no longer swollen, and he seemed to otherwise be in good spirits.

"So Danny," Lily began as she added lacewing flies to her potion. "How are you feeling?"

Danny smiled as he too added ingredients to his potion and stirred with his wand. "Still a bit rough, but certainly on the road to recovery. Remus has really helped with that."

Lily looked up to see the two boys smile shyly at each other. Danny reached out and covered Remus' hand with his own. Lily raised her eyebrows as she looked at their intertwined fingers. Then she smiled. Of course, she should have realised when Remus ran off to check on Danny the night he was attacked. She'd been stupid not to notice.

"I'm happy for you both," she said truthfully. "I had no idea you even fancied each other."

Remus resumed his work, a small smile playing on his lips, and Danny replied, "We've been keeping this private."

Lily suddenly had a horrible thought. "You don't think that's why you were attacked?"

Danny looked surprised, "You think the _Troublemakers_ are Mugglophobic _and_ homophobic?"

"You're not Muggle born," Lily pointed out.

"No but I publicly champion the rights of Muggles. How many people were in that room the other night when I floated my idea of the Ethics Club? Some of my opinions are unpopular."

Remus shifted on his feet and shot a sideways look at Danny. "Lily could be right though. Maybe it is about me." He hesitated. "You both know I'm different."

Lily frowned at her quiet, fair friend. She had always known Remus was different, but he had never spoken about it so openly, and she had never asked. Was he about to finally reveal his secret to her?

"You think dating a werewolf would be reason enough to attack?" Danny asked mildly.

Remus shushed him and Lily glanced around to check no one else was listening.

"We're still working on him coming out," Danny joked. "And even if that was the reason, I don't care. It just emphasises my point – people need to be talking about these issues and we need to be doing more to stamp out these ingrained prejudices."

Lily quietly agreed with him but she could see that Remus felt uncomfortable with the subject and she changed the topic to the practice NEWT exams they were expected to complete next week.

 **ooo**

The next few months passed quickly, and the Seventh Years were left with little time for recreation. Their preparation for the NEWTS meant that school work and revision took up the majority of their time. And once Lily added in her Head Girl duties, tutoring and chaperoning of the younger students around the castle, she found there was very limited time to spend with her friends and Sirius. She enjoyed a day in Hogsmeade with Sirius and their friends, and stole kisses whenever she had time, but their physical relationship didn't progress any further, and she was secretly relieved. Part of her wanted to go all the way with him – her body certainly responded when they made out, but a small part of her mind couldn't quite forget about that kiss with James.

Despite sharing a dormitory, James and Lily rarely crossed paths. On top of his other responsibilities, James also had Quidditch and running club, and he left the dormitory first thing in the morning and returned late in the evening.

The _Troublemakers_ hadn't been deterred by the increased security. Reports of attacks, harassment and nasty incidents continued but so did reports of other incidents – for the first time, Slytherins were also being targeted. Pots of ink were mysteriously tipping onto the heads of Slytherin students. Children were being yanked into the air by their ankles in the hallways and one Slytherin sixth year was left vomiting slugs after leaving her Transfiguration class. The Slytherin common room hadn't been left unscathed – all of the Slytherins were forced to sleep in the Great Hall one night after someone (or a group of someones) had let off hundreds of stink bombs in the underground rooms. Lily had a sneaking suspicion she knew who was behind these pranks, but she didn't ask Sirius or James, and they didn't mention it to her.

In early December, when snowflakes gently drifted down from the sky and blanketed the castle and its grounds in thick white snow, Lily and James sat together in the Head common room, forced to meet and discuss the upcoming Seventh Year Christmas Party.

"Okay," Lily said finally once all decisions had been made. "So that's all sorted then."

"Yep," James agreed.

Lily stood and stretched. "Cup of tea?" she offered as James covered a yawn with his hand.

He shook his head and grinned at her slyly. "We've been working hard," he said by way of an explanation as he pulled a bottle out of his bag. "Fancy a firewhisky?"

"Oh my god, where did you get that?" Lily asked, retrieving two glasses from the sideboard.

"Early Christmas present from Sirius," explained James. "Don't ask how he got it into the school."

Lily sat back down and let James pour her a decent sized glass of amber liquid. They both sipped their drinks in silence for a few minutes until Lily spoke.

"We haven't hung out for a while, have we?"

James shrugged. "We've been pretty busy I guess. How are things with Sirius?"

Lily grinned. "You mean he doesn't tell you?"

"Well of course he does, but I'd be interested to see if you have the same opinions as him."

"Well now I'm intrigued," Lily laughed, taking another sip of the warming drink.

James just laughed and shook his head. "Don't worry, he hasn't said anything too intriguing. Only that he enjoys spending time with you and that he likes you."

"That's good to know," Lily smiled. "He's a great guy, Sirius." She paused and took another drink. "So what about you? Anyone you're keen on?"

James laughed again and finished his glass. "I think I'm too busy for girls at the moment. But if anything changes, I'll hang a tie on my door."

Lily wrinkled her nose in distaste. "Thanks for that mental image."

"I'm glad Remus is happy," James said. "It seems like everyone is falling in love."

Lily frowned and finished her drink, unsure what he meant by "everyone".

James stood up and yawned again, "Thanks for having a drink with me Lily. It was good to chat."

They'd barely said 5 sentences to each other, Lily thought. But still, it was certainly better than nothing.

* * *

 **Please let me know what you think! What are your thoughts on Remus and Danny? Next chapter is a big one for Lily and James!**

 **Please leave me a review! They make me happy :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN:** Two updates in one weekend?! Yes that's right! And the next two chapter are written and ready to go – so proud of myself. See, I told you reviews make writers happy and happy writers write (did that even make sense?)

Thank you so much to all my beautiful reviewers. I'm not going to write individual replies because I'm desperate to get to bed, but you know who you are and how much I value your words of encouragement

 **Trigger warning: On a more serious note, this chapter could trigger anyone with a history of assault. Please read with caution and remember there are many services available if you need help or need someone to talk to!**

* * *

 **Chapter Eight**

Over the next few weeks, Hogwarts embraced the Christmas spirit. Tinsel and holly decked the hallways, magical icicles hung from bannisters and the suits of armours sang creaky Christmas carols. Their teachers had not relented on homework, however. The Seventh Years were expected to spend their holidays getting ready for the NEWTS and for once, Lily was glad to be staying at school over the holidays. Most Seventh Years were also staying at school to study, but also to ensure they did not miss the Seventh Year Christmas Party.

It was the first evening of Christmas holidays and Lily ventured out of her bedroom in search of hot chocolate. James was sitting at the table, surrounded by books.

"What are you working on?" Lily asked.

"Astrology homework."

"I didn't know you were still taking Astrology," Lily said **,** peering over his shoulder at the assignment.

James took a deep breath, feeling his skin prickle in excitement at her proximity. He could smell the sweet perfume of her hair as it swung over her shoulder. "I'm pretty much the only Seventh Year still taking the class."

"Can I ask why?" Lily asked, coming around the table and drawing out the chair next to him. She sat, watching him with her big green eyes and James felt his heart pound in his chest. He looked down at his assignment, trying to clear his brain and focus on her question.

"I like astronomy," he said simply. "I like learning about the universe – it gives me perspective. We are such a tiny part of everything. It's humbling."

"Doesn't it make you feel insignificant?" Lily asked thoughtfully.

James considered her question. "No," he said finally. "It makes me feel as though I have a place. I have a purpose. We live on this planet where so many things can be explained by science. But then there are so many things that can't. The universe is the same – if magic can exist here on Earth then it follows that magic exists elsewhere. For so long wizards and witches have seen magic and science as two different entities, but what if they're wrong?" James grinned at Lily. "Stop me if I'm boring you."

"God no," Lily said, resting her elbows on the table and leaning in. "I'm fascinated."

"Well, I think science and magic are intertwined. Physicists talk about kinetic and potential energy, and magic can fit so beautifully into those categories. The question is, where does the energy come from and where does that energy go? Could magic be drawn from the chemical elements around us? Do they have the potential to _store_ energy?" He grinned sheepishly. "I'm going to write a paper on it one day."

"I don't doubt that," replied Lily, intrigued by this facet of his mind she'd never seen before.

"Sorry about the spiel. My friends tell me to shut up when I start going on about it," James said.

Lily considered him for a long moment, and James started to feel uncomfortable under her unrelenting gaze. "Were you always like this?" she asked finally.

"Like what?"

"Thoughtful. And kind. You care about things, and people."

He grinned and pushed his glasses up his nose. "I think my ego did a good job of covering all that up in the past."

Lily stood and wandered over to the snack table, to give herself a moment to think. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Thoughts were racing through her head, and she tried to get them to slow down while she took stock. Images of James and Sirius kept jumping to the forefront of her mind, but she pushed them away.

Grabbing two mugs, Lily busied herself with making hot chocolate. In this moment, her mind and her body wanted James. She so badly wanted to feel his strong arms around her again, feel the sweetness of his lips. But then why did Sirius seem to have such a hold over her? How could he excite her so much with his kisses, when it was actually his best friend she wanted? Lily shook her head; perhaps she was just fickle. Or maybe these teenage hormones were wreaking havoc on her body. She wanted to have her cake and eat it too.

But did James feel the same way she did? Sometimes, Lily would catch him looking at her, and she was sure she could see longing in his eyes. Her skin would prickle with heat and desire and she was almost certain he felt the same way. Was it simply his loyalty to Sirius that held him back? If that was the case then Lily would tell Sirius it was over – she would choose James. But what if there wasn't a choice? What if James didn't like her and it was all in her head? After all, James had _told_ Sirius to ask her out.

Lily carefully carried the two mugs of hot chocolate back to James, who was once again working on his essay. He murmured his thanks when she set the mug down in front of him.

After a moment's silence, James looked up to see Lily looking at him strangely.

"What?" he asked, trying to read the expression on her face.

She hesitated then shook her head. "Nothing," she said.

James put his quill down and crossed his arms. "No, not nothing. What's wrong?"

Lily bit her lip. "I feel like there's a weirdness between us."

James looked away. He picked up his mug and blew on the warm liquid. "You don't have marshmallows in yours," he commented.

"No, I don't like marshmallows."

James laughed. For an absurd moment, he pictured himself eating marshmallows out of Lily's belly button and had to shake his head to clear it. What was wrong with him? Finally he sighed. "Lily do you like me?"

Lily's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Do I _like_ you? What do you mean, as a friend?"

James shook his head, his brow furrowing seriously. "No, I mean do you like me as a man? Do you fancy me?"

Lily's breath quickened and the mug in her hands shook. "James, you can't ask me that," she said quietly. "I'm…I'm involved with Sirius, your _best friend_."

"Right," James said and stood, thrusting his hands deep into his pockets. "Then stop playing with me."

He crossed the room quickly and closed his bedroom door quietly behind him. Lily would have preferred it if he'd stormed across the room and slammed the door. Anger would have been more understandable. But instead she was left, sitting at the table alone and confused. Part of her wanted to burst into his room. Tell him that of course she fancied him, and ask if he felt the same. But what if he didn't?

Lily buried her face in her hands. It wasn't supposed to be this difficult. If one of her friends was in this predicament, she knew what advice she would give. Start being honest with everyone. End things with Sirius and ask James out. But it wasn't that simple. Sirius made her feel alive, and free, and excited. But James…James made her feel things within her core. She had feelings that she'd never experienced before.

Could she bare her soul to James knowing that he had the potential to crush her? She couldn't let herself be vulnerable, it wasn't in her character.

 **ooo**

James paced around his bedroom, fuming at the way he had just handled that situation. Had he been wrong thinking that Lily was flirting with him tonight? Had he just shown his hand only to be shut down? She must be sitting out there right now, thinking he was an idiot – hating him for assuming that her friendliness was more than that.

He so badly wanted to storm back into the common room, pull Lily to him, kiss her lips and feel her body pressed against him. He wanted more than that. He wanted to bring her back to his bed and be naked with her and feel himself inside her warmth. James threw himself onto his bed and punched the pillow. He'd never wanted anything so desperately in his life.

James had always wanted Lily – didn't Sirius know that? Or had James really been that good at hiding his feelings? Ashamed with himself, James felt tears burning his eyes as he pictured Sirius and Lily together. He felt betrayed, by both of them. Lily's words echoed in his head, _I'm involved with Sirius, your best friend._ Of course she'd been horrified that he would come on to her like that, when she was Sirius' girl.

He needed to apologise to her. Tell her that he was sorry and ask for them to be friends again. Making up his mind, James let himself back into the common room, but Lily had gone. He crossed the room and knocked gently on her door but there was no answer. Hesitantly, James turned the handle and the door creaked open. The room was dark, and empty.

She must have gone up to Gryffindor tower. Probably to tell her friends how psychotic James was.

 **ooo**

Lily wandered through the dark, empty corridors, shivering in the cool evening air. She needed some space from the Head Dormitory – it felt claustrophobic and lonely and she needed to talk to her friends. Fe would be sympathetic and practical, and Sarah would laugh it off and make her feel better. She needed her friends in that moment.

Lily walked down the Charms corridor and slipped through a tapestry into a shortcut when a strong hand grabbed her roughly by the arm and she was slammed face first into the wall of the passageway. She barely had time to cry out in shock and pain when she felt the force of a spell hit her hard in the back and her entire body went rigid and tense. Her muscles seized in excruciating pain but she couldn't open her mouth to scream. She could only see the smooth grey stone of the wall pressed against her face, but she could hear laughter from behind her.

"We got the bitch," came an unfamiliar male voice.

"Full body bind? You sure she can't make a run for it?"

"Yep, she's at our mercy."

The three male voices laughed and jeered in unison as panic washed over Lily. She couldn't move a muscle and she couldn't make a sound.

"Crucio," came one of the voices, and a split second later, white hot pain seared through Lily's bones as her mind screamed in agony but not a sound escaped her lips.

"Turn her around," said someone else as the curse was lifted. "I want to see the terror on her face."

Rough hands grabbed Lily and she was spun violently around and then slammed back into the wall once more. Her head hit the bricks with a sickening crack and white light flashed across her eyes. For a split second, Lily thought she would lose consciousness.

She tried to focus on the faces in front of her, but there was something wrong with them – they were distorted. Blurry. She couldn't see their features clearly and they seemed to shift and move under her eyes. They had placed some kind of jinx on themselves to make their faces unrecognizable.

"Let's see what she looks like naked," one of the boys said, his voice filled with malicious laughter.

Panic stole over Lily as she realised what was coming, and knew she was helpless to stop them. They could do anything to her and she wasn't able to fight back. It was like she was living a nightmare but this time, she wouldn't wake up from it. Lily fought as hard as she could, trying to scream, trying to move as one of the blurry figures approached her, hands outstretched. He ripped her robes so they fell off her shoulders and yanked apart her shirt so buttons scattered across the stone floor.

Lily wanted to scream, to sob, to fight, to attack…but she stood frozen unable to defend herself. Her attacker slapped her face hard, then slapped her again, laughing as her skin rippled under his fingers.

And then suddenly the corridor was filled with light as someone ran towards them, shouting and shooting hexes. The three assailants attempted to send hexes towards the running figure but they were deflected and realising they would be no match, they fled.

"Finite incantatum!"

Lily's muscles were released from the spell and she crashed to the floor, hugging herself tightly, tears streaming soundlessly down her face.

"Oh my god, Lily," a familiar voice sounded in her ears, but she couldn't focus. She couldn't think. "Lily don't move okay? You're hurt, you've got blood all over your face. I have to go and get a teacher."

"No!" Lily practically screamed and the noise shocked her. She sobbed and she finally looked up to see James, standing over her, frantic and wide-eyed with panic. "Please, don't leave," she begged him, her voice cracking and breaking as she struggled to stand, only to find her legs wouldn't support her.

James raised his wand and a silvery creature erupted from its tip and galloped down the hallway. He swished his wand again and a blanket blossomed from it, draping itself gently around Lily's shoulders, covering her completely. James knelt beside her, his wand still firmly clutched in his hand.

"I've sent for help," he said, his voice calmer, gentler now the initial panic had subsided. "Lily, I'm…I'm going to touch you, okay?"

Lily didn't answer but she didn't resist when James gently pulled her against him and held her tightly. He stroked her hair out of her face with gentle fingers. "You're going to be okay now," he told her quietly. "You're safe now. We'll get you up to the hospital wing and you'll be okay."

Lily couldn't control the sobs wracking her body. She drew her knees up to her chest and buried her face in her arms, feeling the wetness of tears and blood. She let James hold her, and make comforting noises as she tried to clear her head. Everything hurt, but it was more than that. The fear. The blind panic of what had just happened. If James hadn't arrived when he did…

Within moments, there were pounding footsteps and Lily cowered into James' arms. Teachers had arrived and someone was gently drawing her to her feet, wrapping the blanket around her and leading her down the hallway. James' arm stayed firmly around her shoulders, as the voices of her teachers reverberated around the corridor and she tried hard to clear her mind.

 **ooo**

 _What happened?_

Lily had been asked that question over and over again. First by Professor McGonagall, and then by Madame Pomfrey. Dumbledore had come to see her, and he too asked the same question, albeit gently and with great reassurance that she didn't need to share the story if she didn't want to. Next it had been Sirius, Sarah and Felicity who had been woken and summoned to her side, despite the late hour. And then her parents, who had appeared at her bedside within hours of the attack.

James was the only one who hadn't questioned Lily. He sat quietly near her bed, sometimes gazing out the window, but usually watching her as the hours ticked by and people came and went. He seemed to understand her need for peace and quiet, but also her fear at the prospect of being alone.

At around 3 o'clock in the morning, Madame Pomfrey insisted everyone leave Lily to get some sleep. Lily's mother insisted on staying with her daughter, and sleeping in the adjacent bed, but Lily convinced her to go home.

"Really, Mum, I'm fine. I'm barely hurt. I'll be okay."

Mrs. Evans wasn't convinced but eventually she also left.

Lily closed her eyes in the dark, empty hospital wing and tried not to remember the events of that evening. She could feel the effects of the sleeping potion Madame Pomfrey had given her. Her eyelids were heavy and her brain began to feel fuzzy. What would have happened if James hadn't turned up when he did?

Finally she fell into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading, my lovelies. I know that chapter was darker than the others, and I promise it will get happier again! Please leave a review xx Annie


	9. Chapter 9

**AN:** Hi everyone! Thanks once again to my lovely lovely readers and reviewers! Every review makes me smile, and I'm so glad you have all stuck with this story. Now I warn you, there is not a huge amount of LJ in this chapter, I'm sorry! But I promise we're not far off and I'll be cranking up the steam ;) Hope you enjoy xx Annie

* * *

 **Chapter Nine**

Lily left the hospital wing early the next day, flanked by Sarah and Felicity who held onto her arms protectively. Lily was grateful for their presence but was looking forward to returning to her dormitory and being alone.

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter were all in the Common Room when she arrived. Remus hurried over and gave Lily a hug as soon as she walked into the room, and she was touched by his thoughtfulness.

"I'm okay," she told the room at large. "Honestly, I'm fine. A bit scared and shaken, but fine."

She wished they would all stop looking at her. Lily met James' eyes and she found she had to look away, unable to stand the intensity of his gaze. She was so thankful to him for finding her when he did, but she wished more than anything that he hadn't seen her like that. So helpless and exposed. She felt shame.

Turning from the group, Lily crossed the room to her bedroom. Sirius followed her inside, closing the door behind him.

Lily stood by the window, staring out at the snowy grounds. She didn't want him there. She didn't want to feel his touch. Lily wrapped her arms tightly around herself and turned to face him.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his deep voice gravelly, gazing at her so intently with his dark eyes.

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "Physically I'm fine. But otherwise…"

Sirius pushed his dark hair out of his eyes and buried his hands in his pockets. "I wish I'd been there to stop them."

"James stopped them," Lily said matter-of-factly.

"It should have been me."

Lily shrugged.

"Can I kiss you?" Sirius asked, his eyes pleading.

Lily hesitated and then nodded. He crossed the room in two large strides and embraced her in his strong arms, kissing her hard. Lily felt her body tense up and then relax into his familiar hold. He deepened the kiss and walked them backwards towards her bed. She lay down and Sirius lay on top of her, drawing her legs up either side of his hips and rested in between them.

They had never been so close or intimate before. As Sirius deepened the kiss, his hands swept under her t-shirt and brushed the material of her bra. Lily felt her body freeze and Sirius drew away. "Are you okay?"

Lily took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Sirius. I don't think I can do this right now."

Sirius' body seemed to deflate and he sat up. "Of course," he said. "I was being insensitive."

Lily sat next to him and took his hand. "I just didn't get much sleep last night. I'm feeling a bit flat."

Sirius leant over and kissed her forehead. "All good, I'll leave you to have a nap. I'm hanging out with the boys tonight, but see you at the Christmas party tomorrow, yeah?"

"Of course."

Sirius kissed Lily swiftly on the lips and left her alone, closing the door behind him. Lily groaned and kicked off her shoes and jeans, burrowing under the blankets and pulling them over her head. She let her mind wander back to the events of last night. Who had they been? Why couldn't she remember their faces?

Dumbledore and McGonagall were going to investigate today, but what if they weren't caught? Would she have to spend the rest of the year knowing that her attackers were in the castle with her, perhaps even sitting in the same classrooms? She wouldn't feel safe again until they were caught.

Lily remained in her room for the rest of the day, and finally ventured out into the Common Room only when her stomach's growling was too demanding for her to ignore anymore.

James sat on the couch, reading a book and gently stroking The Cat who was napping on his lap. He looked up when she entered the room.

"Hey," he said gently, putting his book down and attempting to sit up without disturbing the sleeping cat.

"Hi," she replied, walking over to the side table and helping herself to an apple. "I thought you were hanging out with the guys tonight."

James blushed slightly and looked away. "Well I thought I could do with a night in."

Lily pursed her lips. "I don't need protecting James."

"I know. But I didn't want to leave you alone."

"Sarah and Felicity would have come and joined me."

James looked unconvinced.

"Just because we're girls doesn't mean we can't look after ourselves," Lily said hotly.

"So, should we cancel the Christmas Party tomorrow night?" James asked, trying to change the topic of conversation.

"Of course not!" Lily demanded, pushing her long hair over her shoulder and taking a huge bite out of the apple. "Why would we do that?" she asked, her mouth full.

James stood up and The Cat tumbled out of his lap, hissing its annoyance. "Because your attackers could very well be Seventh Years, and there is no way I am inviting them into this Common Room."

"They won't do anything, James. There will be too many people here."

"I don't care. I'm not going to let those animals anywhere near you."

Lily put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "James Potter, we are throwing this Christmas Party and if you try and stop me, then I am going straight to Professor McGonagall and I'm going to tell her that you are treating me like a helpless idiot who doesn't know her own mind or thoughts."

James furrowed his eyebrows and sighed. "Fine."

"Good."

Lily flopped down into the armchair and continued to chew her apple. Hesitating, James sat back down as well and picked up his book, pretending to read.

"James, yesterday before I left, you said _stop playing with me_." She hesitated and James went very still, not looking up from his page. "What did you mean?"

Slowly, he lowered the book and met her eyes. He swallowed. "Nothing, Lily. I meant nothing."

"Then why did you say it?" she pressed.

Rubbing his face in his hands, James exhaled slowly. "Sometimes I feel like you want something more from me." He paused, waiting for her to laugh, to mock him. But she didn't. "The thing is, you're Sirius' girl. And he's my best friend."

"I don't belong to anyone," Lily said quietly.

James stood up. "I can't have this conversation right now, Lily. Please just leave it, okay?" He walked towards his room then stopped and looked back at her. "I'm going to bed. You don't leave this common room without me," he ordered, glaring at her sternly.

She raised her eyebrows. "You don't tell me what to do!" she snapped.

"Lily I mean it," he said warningly.

She glared at him as he retreated into his bedroom and closed the door with a snap.

 **ooo**

The next morning, Lily made her way up to the Owlery, a stack of Christmas cards clutched in one hand, her wand gripped tight in the other. The Owlery was quiet save the few muffled hoots of sleepy birds. Lily had forced herself to come back up here after the owl massacre, and breathed in the clean smell of hay. There weren't as many owls now as there used to be, and the room had protective spells placed on it so that magic could not be used within its walls. She felt safe here and walked over to the large open window, feeling the sting of cold air on her face.

Feeling slightly recovered, she coaxed down a large brown school owl and tied her letters onto its leg, giving it a quick pat before it flew off into the cold grey sky. Checking her watch, she leant against the window sill and closed her eyes, trying to clear her head.

The door opened, and Lily whipped her head around, only relaxing when she saw Sirius enter the tower room, smiling at her.

"I got your message," he said. "This is early, are you okay?" He looked around the room. "You shouldn't be up here by yourself."

"I'm fine," Lily replied. "And I needed to be alone this morning, I needed time to collect my thoughts."

"Well, I'm glad I'm with you now."

She let him pull her into a hug and breathed in his warm, clean scent. Was she making the right decision? "Sirius, there was something I needed to talk to you about."

Sirius drew away and looked at her, puzzled.

"I've been thinking a lot lately…about _us_. And…well I'm not sure that this is working…anymore."

Sirius looked taken aback.

"It's not you at all," Lily tried to explain. "You're amazing. It's just me."

"Is this about the other night? When you were attacked?"

Lily shook her head. "No, it's not about that. I feel like I'm trying to figure out what I want, and it's not fair leading you on when I'm not even sure what that is at the moment."

Sirius sighed and walked away from her. He leant against the window sill and met her eyes, his face sad. "It doesn't have to be complicated you know."

"I am sorry," she repeated.

Sirius shrugged, a small sad smile playing on his lips. "It's okay, Lily. The thing is, I couldn't have loved you more, but I don't think that ever would have been enough."

It was Lily's turn to be taken aback. Love? She'd never even considered the word in relation to Sirius. With him it had always been physical. Never emotional. But to hear him say love…

"And I think we both know, I could never have loved you as much as him."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked. Who was he talking about?

He shook his head, refusing to say more. A flurry of movement distracted them for a moment as a group of owls came soaring in through the windows, returning from their night's hunting.

"I really wanted to take you to the Christmas party," Sirius finally said, wistfully.

"Sorry," Lily whispered, and felt ashamed at the tears trickling from her eyes.

"Come on. I'll walk you back to your dormitory."

 **ooo**

Lily sat in the library with Sarah and Felicity, attempting to concentrate on the DADA book in front of her. The words seemed to be wriggling on the page and she blinked, trying to clear her vision. It was no good. Lily rubbed her eyes and put the book down. The problem was she was tired. She hadn't slept properly last night, images of the attack kept jumping to the forefront of her mind, and she'd woken early this morning. Lily wanted to go back to her dormitory and crawl into bed, but the thought of being alone scared her.

Sarah and Felicity sat across from her, quietly scratching out essays onto their parchments. Lily looked around the library. It was very quiet, as she expected it would be for a Sunday morning in the school holidays. A few small first year Ravenclaws sat at the table next to hers. Her eyes drifted past them to rest on the back of a boy sitting a few tables away. A hand clenched at her heart as she realised that it was Severus. Their last encounter had been in the library and she still hadn't forgotten his cruel words. _Mudblood slut_.

Could Severus have possibly been involved in the attack the other night? She didn't think so, but then again, so much had changed between them. Lily knew that Severus had always loved her as more than a friend. Could this love have turned so dark? Could it possibly have led him to try and rape her?

Lily felt bile rise in her throat and covered her mouth with a shaking hand.

"What's wrong?" Sarah asked, looking up from her Transfiguration essay, her eyes full of concern.

Lily shook her head.

Felicity put her quill down. "Shall we go back up to Gryffindor tower? The boys will probably be there – you can spend time with Sirius."

Lily blinked and felt heat rise in her cheeks. "I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Why?"

With a deep sigh, Lily told her friends how she and Sirius had ended their relationship. Felicity's mouth fell open in shock, and Sarah stared at her as if she was crazy.

"Lily, he's the most popular boy in school. He's gorgeous and he's clearly crazy about you! Why did you break up with him?" Sarah demanded.

Felicity shot her a look that clearly said _you're not being very sensitive._

"Is this because of the other night?" Felicity asked gently. "I'm sure Sirius would understand if you wanted a bit of space to recover."

Lily shook her head. "No, it's something I should have done ages ago. I don't have feelings for him, not in the way I should anyway."

"Is there someone else?" Felicity asked, her blue eyes meeting Lily's shrewdly.

Lily hesitated then shook her head, letting her long curls tumble around her face. She turned her face back down to her book but had only read a few sentences when someone cleared their throat and she looked up. Severus was standing beside the table, looking embarrassed.

"Go away, Snivellus," Sarah snarled but Severus ignored her.

"Lily can I talk to you?" he asked nervously.

His familiar deep voice caused a pang of sadness in Lily's chest but she pushed the feeling away, remembering their last conversation. How could he possibly have anything left to say to her after that?

"No," she replied coldly, trying to stop her voice from shaking.

"Please," he begged her quietly, his gaze unrelenting. "I'll only be a minute. I… I heard what happened the other night. I wanted to make sure you're okay."

"Of course she's not okay!" snapped Sarah, her temper quickly rising to the surface as it so frequently did. "For all we know Snivellus, you could have been one of those creeps who attacked her."

Colour flooded Severus' face and he jerked around to glare at Sarah, his eyes burning with anger. "I never-"

"Go away Snape," Felicity said, cutting him off. "We don't want to talk to you. Leave us alone before I go and get Madame Pince."

Severus shot one last pleading look at Lily but she shook her head and looked away. Finally, with a sigh, he left the library.

"What was that about?" demanded Sarah, staring after Severus' retreating form.

"You don't think he knows something about what happened?" Felicity asked carefully.

Lily shook her head. "I doubt it. Who knows why he wants to talk to me now, after everything he said."

"Let's forget about it," Felicity said, closing her book with a snap. "Come on. Let's go and get lunch then we can get ready for the party."

* * *

 **AN:** Sorry I know that felt a bit like an admin chapter. Chapter 10 is written and pretty much ready to go! If you're lucky (and review review review) you might even get 2 in one weekend again! Love Annie xx


	10. Chapter 10

**AN:** Thank you to my fabulous readers and reviewers! It absolutely blew my mind when I saw there had been 1800 visitors to this story in the past month. You guys are amazing and certainly inspire me to write faster. The story is definitely starting to speed up now and Lily and James don't have many more excuses not to be together...

 **Guest** – yay so glad you enjoyed the last chapter. More honest conversation to come I promise! **Girken** – keep reading and I'll show you how it will all work out in the end ;) **J** – thanks, haha you will have to wait and see. But yes. Yes she will. **Helen** : Thank you! Haha of course there's mistletoe! Always. **Coolfun** – Thank you! I know…Sirius is such a decent guy and his feelings for Lily are genuine, but I guess he knew that his relationship with her was never going to eventuate into anything more. At the end of the day she was always the one for James. **Swift35** – Thanks! I think right now James is feeling so conflicted, wanting Lily but also trying to do the right thing. I promise all will be resolved very very soon! **Tania** : Thanks! Hope this was quick enough :o) **Anony** : Posted! ;)

* * *

 **Chapter Ten**

The Head Common Room had been transformed into a winter wonderland. Soft Christmas carols filled the air, just loud enough to be heard over the chattering crowd. The room was amass with colour, the Seventh Years all dressed up in their finest wizard robes and cocktails dresses. Glittering fairy lights and candles cast a soft glow across the room and garlands of holly, tinsel and mistletoe added to the festive décor. A huge Christmas tree stood in the corner near the fire place and Lily couldn't help but smile, proud of her efforts in preparation for tonight.

Small house elves moved throughout the crowd, with trays of canapes and butterbeer. Lily snagged some drinks from a passing tray and handed butterbeers to Felicity and Sarah. Felicity was looking elegant in a dress of blue silk, her hair drawn back into a sleek updo. Sarah was wearing a bright red floor length dress and a pair of heels so high, Lily was amazed she could walk in them.

Lily had chosen a deep green cocktail dress to match her eyes and had let her hair tumble loosely over her shoulders and down her back. She felt self-conscious about the amount of creamy pale skin she had on show, but her friends assured her that she looked beautiful, and Lily didn't want the recent attack to affect the way she dressed or acted.

The girls stood chatting to a group of Ravenclaws, and soon Remus and Danny joined them, both looking dashing in their dress robes. Lily's eyes roved across the crowd until she caught sight of Sirius, James and Peter. Her heart skipped at the sight of Sirius – his thick wavy hair fell into his eyes, which were twinkling merrily in the soft light as he laughed at a joke. She knew she'd made the right choice, but it hurt to see him so happy, flirting with a couple of pretty Hufflepuff girls.

James had his back to her, but she admired his broad, strong shoulders under his blue dress robes. She swallowed hard and looked away from them. When Sirius had said _I could never have loved you as much as him_ , was he talking about James? But what had he meant – did he mean that Sirius couldn't love Lily as much as Sirius loved James? Or did he mean that James loved _her_? He had been so cryptic, and now she was more confused than ever.

At that moment, a crowd walked through the open doors. The Slytherins had arrived. Lily wasn't sure they were going to come, yet here they all were, stalking into the party and surveying the crowd with sneering faces. Sirius looked up as the party momentarily hushed, and he frowned to see the newcomers. He elbowed James hard in the ribs, but James didn't need the elbow.

"I was hoping they wouldn't show their ugly faces. How dare they come here, to Lily's dormitory, after what they did," Sirius growled.

"Come on," said James, pulling his friend with him as he hurried over to the Gryffindor girls.

Lily raised her eyebrows when the two boys flanked her and the girls halted their conversation in surprise.

"The Slytherins have arrived," Sirius said as way of an explanation. The girls turned to look and frowned.

"I can't believe Snape showed up," muttered Sarah. "Especially after we told him to go away this morning."

"What?" Sirius asked, concerned and angry.

"He was hassling Lily in the library in this morning," Felicity explained. "We told him to leave her alone."

James frowned. "Has he been bothering you lately?"

"I haven't spoken with Snape since our first day back at school," Lily replied and she grimaced remembering his angry, unforgivable words. "That's when he called me a mudblood slut."

James whipped his head around to face her, his mouth falling open in horrified shock. "He said _what_?"

Lily was about to repeat herself, then realised his question had been rhetorical – he had heard her just fine the first time.

"I'm going to kill him."

"What, James, no! Don't be stupid, why do you care what Snape calls me?"

James merely spluttered in response, too furious to find words. His eyes roved the room, and Lily dragged on his arm.

"Please forget I said anything. Honestly I don't care."

"Well I do," James hissed, shaking Lily off and storming through the crowd.

Lily swore under her breath as she pushed her way through the socialising Seventh Years, trying to keep up with James. His long legs carried him across the room much faster than Lily and she was too far away to stop him when James grabbed Snape by the shoulder and swung him around. Within a split second, James had drawn his fist back and thrown a punch directly into Severus' long hooked nose. There was a loud crunch and a howl from Snape as blood spurted from his nose. Lily nearly ran to his defence, but remembered what had happened the last time she had tried to stand up for him, and instead watched helplessly from the sidelines as Severus scrambled to his feet and reached into his robes for his wand. Before he was able to grab it however, Sirius, Remus and Peter were lined up at James' back, all pointing their wands at the still-bleeding Snape. A group of Slytherins were gathering behind him and they too were drawing their wands. Lily's heart pounded in her chest, scared about what was going to happen next.

"Enough!" yelled a voice and Lily turned to see Danny running forward, his wand outstretched as he cast a protection charm an instant before the Slytherins cast their own hexes. Luckily Danny was fast enough to prevent the Gryffindors from being attacked. "If you're going to fight, then leave. The rest of us Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs don't want a part of it." Much of the room murmured their agreement and Remus lowered his wand. "We've had enough of Slytherins and Gryffindors provoking each other and we don't want to be caught in the middle of it anymore."

A number of Slytherins turned to sneer at Danny, but they quickly realised they were outnumbered.

Mulciber glared at the crowd. "You haven't heard the last of this, Potter," he spat and he and his friends turned and left the party, slamming the door hard behind them.

Breathing hard, James turned to face Danny. "He attacked Lily!" James yelled, unable to contain his fury.

Danny shook his head. "You don't know that. None of us know who the attackers are."

James laughed without humour. "Don't be an idiot Corrigan, we all know it's the Slytherins. And I for one am not going to let them touch her again."

Silence rung through the room at these words and Lily felt heat flood her face.

"That's enough James," Remus said quietly.

"I think the party's over," Danny said calmly and with a look to his friends, the Ravenclaws left, quickly followed by the Hufflepuffs. Remus stayed with the Gryffindors, but his face was pained.

"What are we going to do about this?" Sarah asked angrily, turning to face the remaining Gryffindors. "The Slytherins are ruining everything."

"We have to get them," Remus replied. "I don't know how, but we have to catch them in the act."

"I don't know about you lot, but I'm off to bed," said Felicity. "Hogsmeade tomorrow?"

The teachers had given the Seventh Years special permission to visit Hogsmeade on Christmas Eve, and Lily was looking forward to it. Although, she would have enjoyed it far more after a successful Christmas party – not a total disaster as the night had turned out to be.

The group all agreed and Sarah and Felicity left with Remus, Peter and Sirius to go back to the Gryffindor common room. Lily began to tidy the mess that was left behind, collecting the empty drink glasses and half eaten canapes.

"Leave it," said James, flopping down onto an armchair and kicking off his shoes. "McGonagall said the House Elves would clean up."

"I feel bad leaving them with such a mess," Lily admitted but she sat down as well.

"Drink?" James offered.

"Firewhiskey?" Lily asked with a sheepish smile.

"You read my mind." James got up and poured them two glasses. He handed a glass to Lily and their fingers brushed momentarily. Lily's heart began to pound. They sat in silence for a while, both finishing their drinks. James poured them another healthy serving.

"Why did you hit Snape?" Lily asked eventually.

James considered her over his glass. After a long pause, he said, "Do I need a reason?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "That's not an answer James."

"Well he shouldn't have called you that."

Lily watched him closely. James couldn't quite meet her eyes. "Let me see your hand."

James hesitated then held his hand out towards her. She shuffled over on the sofa so she was close enough to touch him. The knuckles where he had punched Severus were red and puffy. Lily put her drink down and took his hand gently in hers. Her fingers were cool and instantly soothed his throbbing joints. Silently, she cast a spell and the swelling began to reduce. James looked up into her face. They were mere inches apart and he could count every freckle on her nose. Her lips were full and red, and he so desperately wanted to taste them again. He cleared his throat and stood up, walking over to the crackling fire.

"What's going on between us James?" Lily asked quietly.

"What do you mean?" James asked, refusing to turn around and look at her. He couldn't trust himself, and the allure of her in that clinging green dress was too much to bare.

"Don't give me that, you know exactly what I mean." Lily stood up and crossed over to him, pulling him by the arm to face her.

He turned and swept her into his arms, his lips crushing hers with a ferocity that surprised her. But it didn't take long for her to react. She flung her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his, kissing him with all her worth.

Then James took her wrists in his hand and pushed her gently away.

"What are you doing?" she asked breathless, feeling confused and rejected.

"I can't Lily," he replied, his voice husky and deep. "I just can't."

"Why not?" she demanded, anger quickly filling her. He refused to meet her eyes but turned away from her once again, sinking his hands deep into his pockets.

She swallowed and tried to prevent the tears in her eyes from spilling down her cheeks. It was a hopeless battle.

"You can't look at me the same, can you?" she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.

James didn't reply.

"After everything, you can't even look at me anymore."

"Lily, please…"

"I hate what those animals did to me, but what I hate the most was that it was _you_ who rescued me."

James spun around, glaring at her. "What?" he demanded, outrage now mingling with his other emotions.

"You treat me like I'm some damaged puppy. You don't so much as touch my arm without asking me for permission first."

"I'm trying to do the right thing!" James shouted, exasperated.

"Well stop!" Lily yelled back. "Stop treating me like I'm damaged! Stop treading on eggshells around me. At least Sirius wasn't afraid to touch me."

James' face twisted in anger and pain. "That's not fair, Lily, I _saw_ what they did to you!"

"Exactly!" Lily shouted, tears now filling her eyes. "That's exactly what I mean. Don't you understand that by treating me this way, you're letting them win? You're giving them power? My body isn't something dirty or something to be ashamed of!"

"I never said it was-"

Lily glared at him. "If I told you to picture me naked right now, what would you see?"

The image of Lily, frozen and helpless in that hallway, her attackers crowding in around her dominated James' mind and he closed his eyes, disgusted with himself, feeling sick.

"Exactly. You see me as damaged goods," Lily's voice was quiet now and she was crying freely.

"No," James' voice broke as he said this, his face helpless and desperate. "Lily please."

She turned away from him and stalked into her bedroom, slamming the door behind her. James followed her but when he tried to turn the door handle he found that this time, for the first time, her bedroom door was locked.

* * *

 **AN:** I really hope you enjoyed! Please please leave me a review :) The next chapter is going to be a big one! xxx Annie


	11. Chapter 11

**AN:** Omg guys so sorry this took so long to post. I wrote it a week ago but totally hated the way I ended the chapter so re-wrote the ending (which you're going to hate because it's a MASSIVE CLIFFHANGER!) Haha anyway, much happier with it now, but sorry for the sloooowwww update. But you will be glad to know there is more action this chapter…LJ action that is – yay!

Thank you to all my amazing reviewers, and so happy to see some new names in there. Glad you are all enjoying! I won't reply to you all individually now, want to quickly post before bed, but please know your reviews mean so much!

Enjoy xxx

* * *

 **Chapter Eleven**

Lily awoke early the next morning and felt far calmer than she had the night before. She made herself a coffee before taking a long hot shower and spent much longer than she normally did drying her hair and brushing it until it fell in perfect waves. She slipped on a pair of dark jeans, her thick winter boots and a dark green woollen jumper before also donning her fur lined cloak, scarf, gloves and hat. Lily was determined to have a wonderful Christmas Eve in Hogsmeade with her friends, and completely forget about James.

Filch glared at her as he ticked her name off of the list of Seventh Years who had permission to visit the village. He was clearly suspicious of her early departure when most other Seventh years were still lounging in bed or eating breakfast, but Lily didn't care. She could use the alone time to try and get her thoughts in order and looked forward to having a quiet breakfast by herself in Madame Puddifoot's café.

Snow crunched under her boots as she made her way down the lawn to the large school gates and she pulled her cloak tighter around her. Loud puffing breaths alerted her to the approach of someone and she spun around, momentarily frightened by the unknown person's sudden arrival.

Severus was running towards her, puffing hard and clutching a stitch in his side.

Lily silently fumed. All she had wanted was a nice quiet morning to herself. But that plan seemed to have been firmly quashed.

"Wait," Severus panted as he approached her and slowed to a walk. "Lily I need to talk to you."

Lily eyed his bruised and swollen nose and tried not to feel sorry for him. It was surprising that he was even talking to a Gryffindor after the events of last night.

"What do you want, Snape?" Lily asked, no trace of anger in her voice. She sounded flat and defeated.

He blinked at her tone. "I want to apologise for everything."

"Everything?"

"What I said to you on our first day back…it was out of line."

"Calling me a _mudblood slut_?"

Snape winced at her words and Lily shook her head.

"No, you don't get to apologise. That last time when you called me a mudblood in Fifth Year I could _almost_ understand – you were surrounded and everyone was watching and you tried to save face. It wasn't okay but I could almost understand it. But last time in the library? No one was even listening, Snape. You said it because you _believed_ it. And that is unforgivable."

"You're right," Severus admitted, his voice pleading. "Lily, I've taken the wrong path and I'm in so deep I don't even know how to get out of it."

Lily had been about to turn and walk away but she paused at the tone of desperation in his voice.

"Lily that night at the club, I wasn't drunk," he admitted. "The Deatheaters arrived and I knew I couldn't be seen with you. I asked Potter to take you home." He covered his face with his hands and let out a sob that wracked his whole body. "Fuck, this is all such a mess. Did you know they're _all_ in love with you? All of Potter's stupid gang – I saw it on their faces that night when you were… _snogging_ Black on the dancefloor. Potter looked as though he'd been shot in the heart. He was distraught. And Lupin too – he broke his glass he was so angry. Can't you see Lily?"

Lily shook her head again, trying to process what he was saying. James had been distraught? And Remus? It didn't make sense. "No," she said, "no Remus is gay. And anyway, why did you help Sirius and Remus home that night if you hate them so much?"

Severus blinked. "What do you mean?"

"James said he had to take me home because you were busy helping Sirius and Remus home."

Severus looked dumbstruck and Lily suddenly realised that James had lied to her in order to protect him.

"You didn't help Sirius and Remus home, did you? You went off the with the Deatheaters."

"No! No I didn't go off with the Deatheaters, I just ran ok? And anyway, this isn't about me right now. I know what I saw Lily. They all fancy you, all they want is to _fuck_ you, none of them know you like I do."

Lily'd had enough. "Right, so the person who knows me the best is you? The one who called me a _mudblood slut_? The one who ran away the moment Deatheaters arrived in the club and left me to fend for myself? Well thank you very much, but I think you are mistaken Severus Snape. You don't know me. And I sure as hell don't know _you_. I don't care what kind of mess you have gotten yourself into but you deserve every drop of pain you are feeling and a hundred times more. You chose the path you're taking. And there are consequences for your choices. And don't you ever talk about someone _fucking_ me again. Especially after your friends tried to do just that."

"Wait!" Severus called as she turned to leave him. "Wait. I know what they're planning next. I'll tell you. I'll tell you everything."

She froze on the snowy ground. "Who are they?" she demanded, her voice as cold as ice. "Tell me who they are Severus."

He held up his hands and shook his head. "I can't. There's a _Silentium_ Hex on them, I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to."

"How do they know how to do this kind of Dark Magic?" Lily demanded, feeling overwhelmed at Severus' revelation.

"Because You Know Who is involved. Lily, they're as good as Deatheaters."

"Then we need to get them out of Hogwarts! Don't you see that Sev?"

Severus nodded, his face a mask of anguish. "They want to attack Danny again."

"When?"

"Not until next term. Listen, I'll tell you okay? As soon as I know, I'll tell you."

Lily took a deep breath and finally inclined her head. "Okay then."

Severus licked his lips, his eyes forlorn. "Will we ever be okay again?"

Lily stared at him. Surely he knew the answer to that question. He was friends with the group who attacked her. He hadn't acted to stop them. How could they ever be okay again?

Turning away from him, Lily started her slow descent towards the school gates, feeling that today wasn't going to be the day of peace and reflection she had hoped for. It bewildered her that someone she thought she had known so well could have chosen such a different path. He'd been her _best_ friend for goodness sake. But he'd been born into a family who never loved him. And he'd been put in Slytherin. What if he'd been sorted into Gryffindor – would that have changed the path of his life? Or what if Lily had been sorted into Slytherin…

And James. He had lied to her to try and protect Severus – why did he do that? He'd taken her home that night, looked after her, then so abruptly left in the morning. None of it made sense.

Lily made her way into Hogsmeade, lost in her thoughts. She was grateful to finally arrive at Madame Puddifoot's and enjoyed the warm air that embraced her as she opened the door and stepped inside.

"Lily!"

Lily turned her head and her mouth fell open at the familiar face. "Mum?"

The tall, fair woman scooped Lily into a hug and in that moment, everything that Lily had been trying to hold together fell apart. She let her mother hold her as she wept and finally, tears abating, she looked up into her mother's face.

"Oh my darling," Mrs Evans said, wiping her daughter's eyes and leading her over to a small table by the fire. "Come and have a nice cup of tea."

Madame Puddifoot, the plump proprietor, bustled over to their table a pad and quill in hand.

"A black coffee please," Lily ordered, scanning the food menu.

"Lily," said her mother in an all too familiar tone. "We've talked about your caffeine consumption."

"I'll only have one," Lily argued with a smile. "And scones please. With jam and cream."

"Just tea for me," Mrs. Evans requested as Madame Puddifoot took their orders and wandered over to the only other occupied table.

"What are you doing here, mum?" Lily asked gazing in wonder at the woman who seemed so out of place in a wizarding village.

Mrs Evans smiled and sighed. "After the other night, I wanted to be close by in case you needed me. Your father had to go back to work, but Dumbledore suggested I stay at the lovely village inn, The Three Broomsticks, and I must admit, I've been having a wonderful time. There are so many strange people here."

Lily smiled. "I'm glad you're here."

"How are you my love?"

Lily was about to lie and say she was fine but then stopped. Her shoulders slumped and she rubbed her face. "I think I've made a mess of things."

Their drinks arrived and Mrs. Evans poured herself a steaming cup of tea. "Tell me everything."

Lily started with the night of Aunty Edith's funeral and told her mum everything that had happened since then. Her fight with Severus. Her relationship with Sirius. Her stolen kisses with James.

Mrs. Evans sighed and sipped her tea, casting Lily a sympathetic smile. "Oh my darling. We should have sat and had a proper conversation about this long ago. When I was your age, your nanna gave me some advice, and it's about time I pass that advice on to you."

She placed her tea cup down and rested her elbows on the table. "Relationships aren't easy. _Love_ isn't easy. Especially when it becomes physical. Your nanna told me there are four places in our body that give us signals and feelings. And you have to make sure that all four places say yes before you make love to a man."

Lily blushed. " _Mum_ ," she whined, but her mother held up a hand.

"First of all there is your head. Sometimes everything else in your body says yes but your head says no. You have to listen to your head. Then there is your tummy. You know if something is wrong you usually feel it first in your tummy. Then there are your lady areas – no don't look at me like that Lily, you know what I'm talking about. Your lady areas will often respond first in physical relationships but they're often the most easily convinced. Just because _they_ say yes doesn't mean _you_ should. And then finally there's your heart. My darling, you need to listen to your heart. All four parts need to give you the right signals before you get into bed with a man."

Lily stared down into her coffee. "My head always said no with Sirius. And I suppose my heart did too."

"And what about James?"

Lily blinked and felt tears well in her eyes. "But mum, what if he doesn't want me anymore? I've made such a mess of everything."

"All you can do is talk to him and be honest with him. Tell him how you feel. If he says no after all that, then at least you know you've tried. Then you can move on."

Lily ended up spending the rest of the day with her mother, exploring the wizarding shops, enjoying lunch in the cosy Three Broomsticks and playing a quiet game of wizard's chess in the afternoon. By early evening, Lily knew it was time to head back to school and leave behind this cosy bubble of home.

"Merry Christmas my darling," Mrs Evans said, hugging her daughter goodbye and kissing the top of her head. "I am so proud of you."

With a quick tearful goodbye, Lily left her mother's company and headed back to the school.

 **ooo**

When Lily arrived back in the Head Dormitory, she saw James' broomstick on the common room floor, and his boots sitting in a small puddle of water. Her heart began to race and she took a deep breath, stealing herself for what she was about to do. It would be so much easier to return to her own room, and put off this conversation for another day. But she didn't want to. Not really. Every fibre of her being wanted James, and she wanted him now.

She knocked on James' door and waited for his response rather than bursting in like she had last time – she didn't want that kind of surprise again.

"Come in," called James' familiar deep voice, making her skin tingle with anticipation.

Lily opened the door. James was laying on his bed, flicking through a Quidditch magazine and he sat up quickly when he saw her.

"Hey," he said gently.

She crossed the room and tentatively sat on the end of his bed. Crossing her legs, she rested her palms on her knees and stared at his embroidered bedspread. "I'm sorry about last night," she said quietly.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," he replied his voice gentle and soft.

Lily looked up at him. "James, the night that you took me home from the Arctic Troll – why did you lie and say that Severus was taking Sirius and Remus home?"

James looked stunned.

"I talked to him today. He said you were angry at me that night, but then when Severus ran away because of the Deatheaters, _you_ took me home."

James looked bewildered and struggled to find words. "You talked to Snape? Why?"

Lily shook her head. "I'll explain later. James, were you angry when I kissed Sirius? Why did you leave in such a hurry the next morning?"

James blinked. "What are you talking about?"

"My sister said that you were sneaking out and you asked her to say she hadn't seen you."

It felt like James had been punched in the stomach and he covered his face with his hands. Slowly he shook his head. "Oh my god Lily, that's not what happened. I went to get coffee and when I came back, Petunia said you didn't want to see me."

The enormity of this revelation took a moment to sink in and they both sat and stared at each other. Finally, Lily spoke. "I can't believe her. I just can't believe she did that."

James simply shook his head.

"So you didn't regret staying over?"

"Of course not. Regret was the absolute opposite of what I felt. But when your sister told me you didn't want to see me, I thought you'd been horrified I stayed."

"No. Merlin, how could she have done this? So when you told Sirius to go for it? When you told him to ask me out?"

"I thought that's what you wanted!" James exclaimed, rising from the bed now and striding across the room, running his hand through his hair then turning to stare at her. "Lily I never wanted you and Sirius to be together. You're right, I was angry when I saw you kissing on the dance floor. It should have been _me_ , not him!"

Lily didn't know what to say. It didn't change the fact that she had been in a relationship with his best friend. Could he ever forgive her for that?

"Lily last night you accused me of being ashamed of your body," he shook his head, not sure how to go on. Lily met his hazel eyes with her own green ones. The level of feeling behind them made her gulp. Had she been so wrong about the way he felt?

"I shouldn't have said that." Lily stood up and tentatively took a step towards him.

"You're not damaged. You're perfect." His eyes travelled down her body and he blushed. "Do you know how many times this year I've wanted to just grab you and kiss you?"

Lily took another step closer. Suddenly, James couldn't control himself anymore. He strode over to her and pulled her against him, crushing her body tight against him as their lips met. Lily's fingers scrambled at the edge of James' jumper until they slipped underneath and she was able to run her hands up the warm soft skin of his back. James' hands, while still outside her clothing, slid lower, running over her bum and pulling her closer into him. They stumbled backwards and Lily's legs hit the bed as they tumbled down onto the bedspread.

In one deft move, Lily pulled James' jumper and t-shirt off and threw them to the side. Their lips found each other once again and Lily revelled in the taste and feel of him, letting her hands explore his chest and stomach.

"Lily," James whispered, his lips grazing her neck. "We should stop."

"Why?" she breathed, wrapping her arms more tightly around him and finding his lips once more with her own.

Just then a loud crash sounded from the common room and they both sat up in alarm. There were running footsteps followed by the sound of someone calling James' name in panic. Lily recognised the voice – it was Peter. James leapt off of the bed and searched for his shirt as Peter pounded hard on James' door.

"James, open up! Come on, something's happened."

James glanced back at Lily in alarm and he pulled the door open. A frantic Peter stood in the frame, clutching his chest and panting hard. His watery blue eyes darted between them in momentary surprise, taking in James' state of undress and Lily's blush.

"James you have to come quickly. It's Remus –"

"What happened?" James demanded, pulling on his jumper. "He's in the Shrieking Shack tonight, isn't he?"

Peter shook his head, still out of breath. "Sirius told Snape about the Whomping Willow. Snape's gone after Remus. James, you have to stop him!"

James shot a panicked look at Lily but she just shook her head. "James, go!" With a last fleeting look of longing, James hurried from the room, Peter trailing behind him.

* * *

 **AN:** What do you think? Love it? Hate it? Let me know! I foresee a HUGE fight between Sirius and James – what do you guys reckon? And what should James do next? Let me know! Please leave a review xxxxx Annie


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